KALEIDOSCOPE
by MrsSuperman93
Summary: "Life is like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope - a slight change, and all patterns alter."
1. Another Ewing Heir

**1. Another Ewing Heir**

**JANUARY 1981**

Sue Ellen Ewing devoured the final scoops of pistachio ice-cream left in the tub and licked her lips in serene satisfaction. Desserts weren't usually her thing, especially not under the social pressures to maintain her lusted-after figure, but the late-night snack just seemed to call her to it. The grandfather clock in the hallway chimed 2am and Sue Ellen leaned forward, her elbows rested lazily on the kitchen counter; the chime not only marked the late hour but also the third night Sue Ellen had been restless enough to register it. While Dr Elby had diagnosed her with temporary insomnia, supposedly an after-effect of the recent trauma of J.R.'s shooting and her fleeting stint in prison, his mild reassurance didn't bring much comfort to Sue Ellen in the dark of the night.

Bare footsteps from the stairway to the kitchen attracted Sue Ellen's attention and she could feel her heartbeat quicken until Pam appeared in her silk nightgown. "Oh… hi, Sue Ellen." She refilled her flower-patterned glass from a bottle of still water in the refrigerator and motioned to the empty ice-cream tub in front of Sue Ellen. "Hungry?"

"Peckish." Sue Ellen corrected, discretely nudging the evidence from plain sight.

"They say it's one of the signs, you know?" As her sister-in-law attempted a display of confusion, Pam scooted into the chair beside her. "Late-night cravings, restlessness, _moodiness_." Her voice lowered to a knowing tone and Pam raised her brow at Sue Ellen. "You practically bit my head off this morning when I asked you if you were free for lunch." If it weren't for the recent upheaval Sue Ellen had suffered at the hands of J.R. and Kristin, Pam wouldn't have been so kind as to let Sue Ellen's snappy remark about not having time to spend time with common shop girls slide.

"Well, I'm sorry. I haven't been feeling all that well lately." Every time her eyes closed, images of J.R. either dead or with Kristin translated in her mind and Sue Ellen reached the point where she preferred not to sleep at all. But the consequential lack of energy and random attacks of dizziness didn't make her the easiest person to live with.

"Bouts of sickness too, huh?" Pam's lips spread into a small smile at her trail of thought. "If I didn't know any better, I'd suspect you were in the family way." Somehow, she doubted the reason for Sue Ellen's late nights was any of J.R.'s doing, at least not in that respect. "I know things haven't been easy between the two of you since Kristin left for California. Counselling may not go down such a storm with J.R. but perhaps a marriage specialist is exactly what the two of you need, after all you've been through. Have you ever considered bringing in a third party?"

Stuck on Pam's previous remark, Sue Ellen laughed off her most recent suggestion. "Pamela, J.R.'s brought enough third parties into our marriage to last us a lifetime. I'm already scheduled to see Dr Elby twice a week; I think that's more than enough, don't you?" She shuffled from the kitchen stool in discomfort and reached for a bottle of sparkling water from the double-door refrigerator. "If you'll excuse me, Pam, I think I'll try and get some rest. I have a meeting with the ladies from the D.O.A. tomorrow and I'd hate to have to miss it." Before her sister-in-law could strike argument, Sue Ellen fled from the kitchen and started up the stairs towards her bedroom. The very suggestion from Pam that she could be pregnant churned her stomach into one large knot. It had taken almost a solid decade of marriage before she had fallen pregnant with John Ross; one momentary loss of control after Kristin had left for California could not have possibly been enough to create a second child.

As Sue Ellen reached her bedroom, Pam's hushed voice froze her to the spot. "Sue Ellen, hold on a second." Climbing the stairs, Pam held that undeniably insightful expression and Sue Ellen felt more vulnerable than an open book. "I know this may not be my place to ask but… is it possible that you could be _pregnant_? I mean, I didn't think you and J.R. –" Pam's usual confidence faltered.

"You know what, Pamela. You're right. It is none of your business! Now, if you'll excuse me, I really am tired." Always one to run in denial, Sue Ellen quickly entered her bedroom and abruptly closed and locked the door in the woman's face. Immediately, Pam knocked on the door and Sue Ellen started to nervously pace back and forth, for once thankful that J.R. hadn't returned home for the night. Lying and improvisation had never been two natural skills Sue Ellen had acquired and J.R. Ewing was like the human lie-detector.

Pam relentlessly knocked, though wary not to wake any of the house's inhabitants. "Sue Ellen, let me in." If it weren't for the blatant animosity between husband and wife, Pam may have suspected Sue Ellen's condition sooner but now Sue Ellen had unintentionally hinted at such a possibility, Pam couldn't let it slide without unravelling the truth. Her brain started to recall memories of the previous week; Sue Ellen's uncharacteristic exhaustion, her recent sickness and not-too-noticeable weight gain all equated to one thing. Another knock, and Pam wondered if soon the entire household would wake to wonder what the altercation was all about. Knowing that would be exactly the end-goal Sue Ellen was striving to avoid, Pam purposely raised her voice a decibel louder and rapped her knuckles on the bedroom door for effect. "Oh, come on, Sue Ellen. What are you so afraid of? Aren't you excited to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet?"

That was enough to send Sue Ellen into a tailspin. Just as predicted, the door swung open and Sue Ellen yanked Pam into the privacy of the bedroom, where she flicked on the bright lights and shot her sister-in-law a menacing look. "PAMELA! A few dizzy spells and a common bug does not equate to pregnancy, at least not to those women who don't have babies on the brain like you do. Now, if you and Bobby are trying to conceive, I am very happy for you but that is not the direction in which J.R. and I are currently aiming for." The more Pam pursued the possibility, the more nervous Sue Ellen became but she refused to believe there could be anything more than butterflies fluttering away in her stomach. "Having another child is the last thing on my mind, I can assure you."

Evidently, Sue Ellen's words went in one ear and out the other as Pam scurried from the room, only to return less than a minute later with a small box in her hand. The label read Clear Blue and Sue Ellen scowled in disappointment at Pam's unwanted forceful nature. "It's a pregnancy test. I've had it since Bobby and I decided to start a family but this is more important."

The test shoved back into Pam's hands, Sue Ellen stood squarely with her feet to the ground. "Pamela, I am not about to undergo the indignity of this test just to cure your curiosity."

"Well, that's a shame, Sue Ellen, because I'm not going anywhere until you do. Sure enough, either J.R. will come home or Bobby will wake up and wonder where I am and then you'll have to explain to either one of them why I'm in here with you hovering over a pregnancy test." Her resolve remained firm in the face of Sue Ellen's refusal; she had a natural instinct for things like this and something told Pam that Sue Ellen wasn't the only one who had a taste for pistachio ice-cream. Trapped between a rock and a hard place, Sue Ellen fiercely snatched the pregnancy test from Pam and speechlessly stormed into the en-suite. "It'll take a couple minutes to register." Pam advised from the other side of the closed door as she folded her arms across her chest. "It does say on the box that the outcome isn't 100% positive so we can make an appointment with whichever specialist Dr Danvers recommends to have confirmation. Of course, if it's positive, you'll have to make an appointment anyway to schedule your regular check-up and scan." The excitement started to bubble over the surface for Pam, as she contemplated life at Southfork with another child. It would undoubtedly set more pressure on herself and Bobby to conceive a child of their own but Pam refused to allow her mind to fall into such a depressing pattern. "Sue Ellen?" A couple minutes had passed and Pam could worryingly hear very little movement, "Sue –" The lock on the door clicked open and Sue Ellen appeared, her expression sombre to such an extent that Pam inwardly kicked herself for building Sue Ellen's hopes only to discover the symptoms of her suspected condition were merely consequences of all the recent strain.

"I'm pregnant." Her serene admission, or rather the tone in which it was delivered, left Pam with wide and child-like eyes. "Another Ewing heir."

The misery in her emotive eyes reminded Pam of Sue Ellen's darkened heart during her pregnancy with John Ross; a horrific experience at the hands of Cliff and J.R.. "Well, Sue Ellen, I understand how strained things have been for you and J.R. lately, but aren't you happy?" Her brow furrowed in an attempt to understand Sue Ellen's crestfallen reaction. "Pregnancy is just such a wonderful experience." Her time in such a condition may have been fleeting but Pam had never felt so meaningful or purposeful as she did when she had fallen pregnant.

Playing her crowd-pleasing poker face, Sue Ellen nodded her head and robotically replied, "Oh, I'm happy, Pam. I'm very happy." Yet, deep down, nine months of being responsible for another persons' life whilst being reminded of her previous failure in doing so struck a terrifying chord within Sue Ellen. With her marriage on the near brink of destruction and her sister pregnant with her husband's child, Sue Ellen couldn't have imagined a sicker twist of events. Her hand instinctively fell to her flattened stomach; she could barely recall the protruding bump John Ross had once occupied, and to think of another child made her head spin. She desperately craved the normal, loving pregnancy many women raved about, not the debacle she had endured whilst pregnant with their son, but Sue Ellen knew J.R. well enough to know that their marriage wouldn't simply rectify itself for the new arrival, which meant she would have to rectify it herself.


	2. Gods & Goddesses

**2. Gods & Goddesses**

J.R. forced his eyes open under the intensity of the morning sunlight. Unexpectedly, his entire body felt well-rested, despite his late return home and presumably waking before his alarm. He rolled over and discovered Sue Ellen rearranging the curtains as she watched the morning routine of the ranch-hands from the window. His eyes moved to his bedside clock and his body shot awake when he noticed the hour hand indicating it was nearly 10am. "Sue Ellen, it's late! Why the hell didn't you wake me, damn it? I have a meeting in a half hour!"

Her husband violently kicked the sheets from his body and leapt from the bed. "I decided to let you sleep in." Sue Ellen calmly replied, as she watched her husband dash around the bedroom in an attempt to make himself semi-presentable. "And I let Bobby know you won't be going into the office today so he won't be expecting you."

"And who in the hell put you up to that?" J.R. growled, "Listen, Sue Ellen, if you expect those furs and diamonds to keep coming in, then a man's gotta work. My little brother may have been appointed President of Ewing Oil while I was indisposed but I'm back on my feet now and I'm gon' have to work ten times harder to prove myself to daddy. And how am I going to prove my capabilities if I'm not there to prove them, huh, Sue Ellen?" His shooting may have worked in his favour in many ways; a reconciliation with Sue Ellen one of them, as temporary as it was, but J.R. should have known his sanctimonious baby brother would have worked the opportunity to his advantage by slotting himself into the captain's seat at Ewing Oil. One narrow-eyed look from his wife and J.R. buckled, sighing as he draped his favourite tie around his shoulders. "Alright, Sue Ellen. I can see you've gone to great lengths to keep me home from the office today, so what is it? What's so damn urgent?"

"I have something I'd like to discuss with you. Why don't you make yourself a little more presentable and meet me down at the stables in ten minutes?" She quickly scurried from the room before J.R. could challenge her request, and started her journey toward the stables. At her request, Ray had given the ranch hands strict instructions not to venture near the lake on the far south side of the ranch. By the time Sue Ellen had saddled both her horse, Aphrodite, and J.R.'s, Ares, her husband's powerful stride came into view from the house. "Perfect timing." His grumpy expression informed Sue Ellen of his predicted dissatisfaction but she brushed off his dismal attitude and climbed onto her golden horse. "Jump on, cowboy!" Holding his horse in place, Sue Ellen motioned to his darker-haired mammal.

J.R. furiously glared at his wife; her spontaneous attempt at, what J.R. could only assume was, a romantic gesture could be costing him his position in his father's company, not to mention the future of their son. The more time Bobby spent at the helm of Ewing Oil, the more faith and responsibility Jock entrusted him with and the more J.R. became an outcast. "Sue Ellen!" His whine caused Sue Ellen to release the reigns of his horse and gallop off in the direction of the lake, leaving J.R. to his own devices to mount his raven-haired horse. Curiosity alone provoked J.R. to do exactly that, as he steadied himself in the saddle and followed the trail of dust Sue Ellen had left in her wake. A fifteen minute ride to the south border of Southfork ensued; they rode underneath the avenue of evergreen trees before they reached his mother's cherished lake. In the height of summer, J.R. had often found solace from the unbearable Texan heat in the refreshing ripples of the reservoir, which had now thawed out from the recent chill endured during the winter months.

Sue Ellen leapt from her horse and loosely attached her to the nearest tree. Wrapping her reigns around the branch, Sue Ellen silently revelled in the relief that her husband had actually chosen to follow her despite his anger at her impromptu decision. Once J.R. directed his horse to a halt, Sue Ellen moored Ares next to Aphrodite and stretched out a hand to assist her husband off, knowing how much he truly despised riding horses. It had only been a skill J.R. bothered to learn the basics of in another unmerited attempt to impress his father. "It's beautiful here, isn't it?"

Dismissing her hand, J.R. slid from the saddle and brushed himself off. "Well, I'm here, Sue Ellen. What the hell is so important that you couldn't tell me back at the house?"

"Do you remember the first week we were married?" Ignoring her husband's brash demand, Sue Ellen leaned against the bark of the tree and stared off into the distance in a dreamy state of mind. "We barely had a honeymoon because you didn't want to leave Ewing Oil in your daddy's hands. You were probably too afraid of him finding out about all your dirty deals." Her snide remark and return to a long-forgotten past caused J.R. to partially roll his eyes in boredom; he was in no mood for a trip down memory lane. "To make up for it, you flew me to Austin and bought Mr and Mrs horses. The next day, they were transported here to Southfork and you asked me to name them. Do you know why I named them Ares and Aphrodite, J.R.?" Her head turned expectantly toward her husband, who shook his head in a silent form of requesting her to enlighten him to the fact. "Because Aphrodite was the Greek Goddess of love. And she loved Ares, the God of war. Now, his parents were Zeus, ruler of all Olympian Gods, and Hera, Queen of the Gods." She smirked in J.R.'s direction, as she affectionately petted her horse. "Remind you of anyone? Because that's what you and your family were to me, J.R.." The honesty in her voice captivated J.R. as firmly as her beauty had the first time he ever laid eyes on his Miss Texas. "The Ewing's were as mystical as Greek mythology to me and I had never met anyone like you, not before and certainly not since. It wasn't the money you possessed or the power and respect you so naturally commanded. You were like a forbidden fruit; one bite and I became enchanted by you forever. My loyalty to you has been undying since the day I made my vow to you."

A hostile scoff escaped J.R.'s throat. "You're a little young for amnesia, aren't you? Or have you forgotten your little tryst with Cliff Barnes? One thing's for sure; I know I won't. The only reason you're still here on this ranch is because John Ross is my son, and I strongly suspect Mr Barnes is not the only _friend_ you've acquired over the years."

"Compared to the company you keep, J.R., I'm a saint." On instinct, Sue Ellen brashly defended her actions and her calm façade momentarily shattered. "Look, I didn't ask you out here to have the past thrown in our faces; we've both done things we're not proud of. What I'm asking for is a compromise because I refuse to carry on like we've been doing. John Ross may not be old enough to understand yet but it won't be long until he does and I do not want my son raised in that kind of an environment."

"Well, what exactly do you suggest, my dear?" J.R. sneeringly inquired.

"If you expect to restore any of the faith Jock once had in you, then you damn well better get our house in order first. Before you can do that, you're going to need all the facts." Sue Ellen attempted to give her husband a premeditated warning but J.R. silently shrugged it off, confident he already knew everything there was to know. "I'm pregnant, J.R.." Like a lion suddenly provoked, J.R. aggressively snapped his head in Sue Ellen's direction. His eyes zoned in on her stomach and Sue Ellen's hands dropped to her waist, intimidated as always underneath his scolding stare. "I had the doctor confirm it for me yesterday afternoon; I'm six weeks along and the baby and I are in perfect health." Previous experience had taught J.R. well and Sue Ellen didn't have to know her husband as well as she did to know J.R. was mentally working out the possible conception date of their unborn child. His eyes held the same look of surprise and intrigue as hers had done; could that one moment of heated passion really have been enough to create a child? It had been the only moment since Kristin's departure to California that they had been remotely close to one another. Afterwards, Sue Ellen had carried on like nothing had happened, and then ensued one of the most miserable Christmas' J.R. had ever experienced at Southfork. "Don't look so worried, J.R.; I know for a fact, it's your child."

Her previous fury at his faith in the paternity of Kristin's child, rather than their own, rang in J.R.'s ears and he quickly hid his initial suspicion. A hearty chuckle escaped his lips and he faced forward to kiss Sue Ellen on the cheek. "I don't doubt it, honey!" In his mind, there couldn't have been a more clearer sign for him and Sue Ellen to reconcile. "Well, would you believe it? Another Ewing on the way!" J.R. started to brim over with excitement as he contemplated his parents' reaction. "C'mon, darlin', I'll have mama call everyone back home and we can give them the good news!" As he grabbed Sue Ellen's hand, J.R. noticed his pulse of enthusiasm didn't exactly match hers. His vibrancy quickly faded as J.R. anticipated Sue Ellen to deliver the counterpart of bad news. "What is it? The doctor said the baby's alright, didn't he?"

Slipping her hand from his, Sue Ellen nodded her head. "Yes, he did. Physically, the baby and I are in perfect condition. Emotionally, not so much… at least, for now I am, but I wonder how long it'll be before it all comes crashing down again." Contempt clouded her once-loving eyes and Sue Ellen broke away completely from her husband, "I refuse to endure another never-ending battle with you, J.R.. I won't bring another child into this world unless I have some certainty that our marriage is one that can last." The blurred memories of her pregnancy with John Ross still haunted her mind and Sue Ellen inwardly shook with horror as she considered the possible damage her weakness nearly caused their son; it didn't faze Sue Ellen to realise that she might not be so lucky the second time around. Though her drinking had been recently restricted and her sessions with Dr Elby had enforced an undeniable difference, Sue Ellen still didn't completely trust herself.

The disappointment clear to see, J.R. reacted aggressively to her threat and furiously snarled back, "And what exactly are you gon' do if you don't find that certainty?"

Sue Ellen reached to the ground and collected one of the semi-heavy stones near her feet. With a nonchalant throw, she propelled the stone into mid-air and waited in silence for the inevitable sound of it hitting the surface of the water and retreating to the bottom of the lake. "Once the stone's been thrown, J.R., it can never be taken back. And, I can assure you, there are plenty of ways to rid myself of this child and to make sure you and I _never_ have another child." J.R. menacingly leapt forward but quickly contained himself, which merited a small smirk from Sue Ellen, knowing she had entrapped J.R. in a catch-22. "Now, I'm going to give you _one week_ to come up with a suitable solution to our problem and, if you don't… I'll be forced to take matters into my own hands."

Exasperated for any acceptable form of retaliation, J.R. watched dumbstruck as Sue Ellen repositioned herself on Aphrodite and rode off into the direction of the house. While Sue Ellen had demanded a solution to the problem which was their marriage, J.R. failed to recognise what exactly it was that she wanted from him. Surely, by now, Sue Ellen knew better than to think she could leave Southfork with his son. "Then that only leaves her one other option…" J.R. muttered to himself; a reconciliation.


	3. An Oasis of Peace Broken

**3. An Oasis of Peace... Broken**

An oasis of peace had finally fallen over Southfork ranch and Miss Ellie happily stretched her legs onto the opposite chair to watch Sue Ellen glide John Ross through the surface of the pool, as the little boy stretched out his arms to feel the ripples his presence had left behind. She didn't doubt her first born grandson would cause ripples of his own one day in the oil business like both his grandfather and father had; those piercing blue eyes passed down from Jock to J.R. weren't the only trait the little boy had inherited. Her happy trail of thought, which had taken her mind into a distant future, broke off with the deafening screech of tyres as J.R. roared into Southfork. Her relaxed mood withered away as J.R. slammed the his car door and the expression of pure fury on her son's features came into plain view. Standing to her feet, Miss Ellie squinted her eyes away from the sun, "J.R., what's wrong?"

Partially ignoring his mother's question, J.R. came to a halt. "Sue Ellen, I'd like a word with you, in private if you'd be so kind!" More of a demand, than a question, his attention left his wife's baffled reaction and he looked toward his mother for support. "Mama, look after the boy, would you?" Neither woman had the chance to argue before J.R. continued his march inside the house. Evacuating John Ross from the pool, Sue Ellen briefly dried both herself and her son off with a nearby towel.

Leaving her son in his grandmother's care, Sue Ellen slipped on a loose oversized blouse and followed her husband to their bedroom. His unexpected rage unsettled Sue Ellen; it had only been a few days since J.R. learnt of her pregnancy and no more words had been exchanged since, nor had the family been informed of her condition, so Sue Ellen could only assume J.R. had yet to reach an acceptable compromise to match her terms. Her concern almost forced her to deem it necessary to knock, but she shook off her worry and entered the bedroom, where J.R. had already managed to pour himself a Bourbon from the mini-bar in the corner of the room. "Bad day at the office, darlin'?"

Her tone of ridicule struck a chord in J.R., though his temper had already reached its limit. "Daddy's decided to back Bobby as President of Ewing Oil for the foreseeable future."

Though Sue Ellen could empathise with how much Jock's seeming rejection must have pierced J.R.'s heart, let alone his ego, she wasn't about to let her resolve over their relationship flounder. "Well, I highly doubt Bobby's presidency is a challenge that the great J.R. Ewing will find hard to conquer." She folded her arms across her chest, "Is that the reason you dragged me up here?"

"Pack your bags!" The impulsivity in his reply shocked Sue Ellen to the core and, for a moment, she froze ice cold at the thought of being thrown to the street. "We're leaving Southfork."

"J.R., I don't understand –" Her confidence had been ripped apart by the unexpected. Her husband, J.R. Ewing, who refused to allow her a two-week honeymoon, who swore he'd claim his birth right of Ewing Oil and Southfork, now wanted to leave the only home he had ever known, and he wanted to leave together! If this had been a conversation shared nine years ago, Sue Ellen would have jumped at the chance but Southfork had been her home for so many years that she couldn't picture her life anywhere else, let alone her life with J.R..

"Well, what's to not understand?" J.R. snapped, puzzled by her confusion. "If daddy wants to keep his golden boy at the helm of Ewing Oil, I'll just have to find another way to prove myself." Nothing irked his father more than the possibility of his children not living in the family home he had built specifically for them and this was only step one of J.R.'s beautiful scheme to reclaim his rightful position. After all, a similar plot had worked in Bobby's favour. His drive home had stunk of desperation, grasping at any and every idea to make his father see sense but this was such a beautiful plan that J.R. nearly scolded himself for not thinking of it beforehand. "Well, don't look so worried, sugar! I'm gon' take you on that honeymoon you missed out on." While Sue Ellen had been frozen in position, J.R. guided her toward the closet and dragged her suitcase onto their double bed. "Now, you have Theresa come up here and help you pack anything you want. I'm not sure how long we'll be gone for just yet but you can buy anything you forgot to pack when we get there."

Sue Ellen wriggled free from J.R.'s grip and frowned, "J.R., where exactly do you think we're going? If this is some little scheme of yours to have me leave John Ross –"

"Don't be so paranoid, Sue Ellen. The boy's coming with us!" J.R. waved off her suspicion without a care in the world; his bad mood now a distant memory as his manipulative grin appeared. "Once you've packed your things, you can have Theresa pack for John Ross." As Sue Ellen attempted to air her confusion further, J.R. simply reached into the closet and started to hand her various pieces of clothing. "You just pack whatever you like, honey. It won't be too warm where we're going but I'm sure you can find something in that closet of yours; Lord knows you could fill a department store with all the things I bought you." The brilliance of the plan formed further in J.R.'s mind and he could hardly wait for his father's reaction.

Leaving Sue Ellen to her suitcase, J.R. merrily started his way down the stairs where Miss Ellie had clothed John Ross and started to feed him a snack in the kitchen. "Hey, John Ross!" His hand ruffled his son's thick curls of hair and J.R. balanced himself on the back of his son's chair. "Say, mama, how do you feel about a good ol' family dinner tonight? All of us Ewing's 'round the table like old times."

Taken aback by the 180° in J.R.'s mood, Miss Ellie stammered in agreement. "Well, yes, J.R. –"

"Good, good." J.R. nodded, standing behind his son's chair. "Make sure all the family attends, won't you? Sue Ellen and I have an announcement to make and I want to make sure they're all there to hear it." A full believer in the power of suspense, J.R. seized one of John Ross' biscuits and made his exit from the kitchen. Returning to the bedroom, J.R. found Sue Ellen hovered over her empty suitcase with the same piece of clothing in her hand as she held upon his prior exit. "Well, what's the matter, honey? Have you forgotten how to pack?"

"What game are you playing, J.R.? Don't think for a second that I'm going anywhere with you before we've reached a resolution of our own," Sue Ellen scornfully warned.

"I thought we'd already reached it." He looked his wife plainly in the eyes, knowing she couldn't read his ulterior motive. As hard as she tried, Sue Ellen simply wasn't wicked enough in nature to parallel him and J.R. recognised he probably wouldn't have loved her the way he did if she were. "I know we've had our ups and downs. More down lately but, the way I see it, this child is a second chance for us. A chance for you and I to really do it right." J.R. subtly positioned himself closer to Sue Ellen, letting his words sink in. "I heard what you said, Sue Ellen. We rushed things through when we were married, we missed out on the kind of moments that really bond a husband and wife forever. I know I've committed myself to the business more than I have to you but I'm willing to make a change. With Bobby as president of Ewing Oil, and the new baby on the way, I don't see a better time for us to start than right now." So captivated by J.R.'s eyes full of promise, Sue Ellen barely noticed his arms snake around her waist until she could feel his hand flattened at the small of her back. "Think about it… if you could be anywhere, anywhere in the world, right now. Where would you be?"

Her childhood dream of travelling the world flashed several locations into her mind but Sue Ellen found herself so overwhelmed in the moment that she simply shook her head, "I don't know, I…"

J.R. chuckled, "Well, it's a good thing I've got it all figured out then, isn't it? You just pack whatever you can think of now and we'll have whatever else we need shipped." The more J.R. spoke about their travel plans, the more Sue Ellen started to wonder just where on the scale of temporary to permanent this little vacation J.R. had impulsively dreamed up would be but the affection which overloaded his voice as he held her closer to him washed away any suspicions Sue Ellen had conjured. "I know how difficult your pregnancy with John Ross was before. I promise you, this time will be different. We'll get away from Southfork, away from Dallas, and really find time for ourselves; the four of us… as a family." J.R.'s hand swept over her stomach and Sue Ellen could feel herself physically buckle from the feel of his skin against hers. Revelling in the power he had over his wife, J.R. contemplated a life away from Southfork; it wasn't the kind of direction J.R. had ever expected his life to take but, with his company snatched away from him, he didn't see any other option.


	4. Leaving Southfork

**4. Leaving Southfork**

"You're being bull-headed about this, J.R., and there's no need for it." Bobby growled, aggravated by the idea of his brother leaving. In his wildest dreams, Bobby had never imagined that he would be the only Ewing son left behind at Southfork, not when J.R. had such a hunger for the eventual power being head of Southfork and Ewing Oil would bring him.

"Now, Bobby, I don't have time to argue when I have a flight to catch." J.R. reprimanded his younger brother as they started down the stairs. "I thought this was what you wanted, anyhow. You're head of Ewing Oil, you might as well get a real feel for the ranch. One day, it'll all be yours for the taking." Checking the inside of his jacket pockets for passports and flight details, J.R. started to double check his plans as Raoul faithfully transported the suitcases outside to the drive, where the rest of the family had gathered for the farewell.

"J.R., you know very well this isn't what I wanted. Can't you see how devastated mama is?" Bobby pleaded, hoping J.R. would see sense before going through with his threat. "Have you even given Sue Ellen the slightest bit of thought? And what about how all of this is going to affect John Ross? You can't just exile from the family because you don't like the way things are! The decision you're making affects more than just you. Why don't you cancel your flight and you and I can talk about this like adults?" Nothing would make his father prouder than to see all of his sons running the family company as partners but, since Gary had made his disinterest apparent, J.R. became more determined than ever to run Ewing Oil solo; an aspiration Bobby didn't share.

Purposely disregarding his brother's attempt at compromise, J.R. shrugged him off. "Bobby, I don't have time for this. I've made my feelings perfectly clear on the matter." The brothers both wandered outside where Jock, Miss Ellie, Sue Ellen and Pam had gathered by the awaiting limo to drive them to the airport.

"Give grandma a kiss goodbye!" Sue Ellen passed her son over to Miss Ellie and watched with adoring eyes as the elderly woman hugged the little boy close to her chest.

"I'm going to miss you so much, John Ross! Are you going to miss grandma?" His baby babbling came in response and Miss Ellie laughed, hoping it would be enough to warn away the threat of tears. As Raoul and Bobby helped J.R. load the private car with suitcases, Miss Ellie finally came to grips with the reality of the situation; somehow, she simply didn't expect J.R. to go through with the decision he had announced during the family dinner the previous evening. Reluctantly, she relinquished John Ross to Pam, who fondly cooed over him as she strapped him into the backseat, and guided Sue Ellen aside from the general commotion. Knowing who had full control over her relationship with J.R., Miss Ellie wondered if her son had taken Sue Ellen's welfare into consideration. Since John Ross' birth, the couple had barely known a moments peace and it had become painfully obvious that Sue Ellen simply wasn't emotionally equipped to match J.R.. "Are you sure this is what you really want, Sue Ellen?"

"Of course it is!" Her statement held undeniable confidence, though Sue Ellen was anything but. "Now, don't you worry, Miss Ellie. We'll be home before you know it." Those words warranted little merit in Miss Ellie's eyes; J.R. had made it perfectly clear that unless Bobby returned the title of company president back to him, their little "trip" would be much more permanent. With that request consistently denied, Miss Ellie wasn't sure if J.R. would ever return home to Southfork, and her worries only multiplied not knowing where exactly J.R. would be taking his family.

In spite of Sue Ellen's reassurance, Miss Ellie's concern for her daughter-in-law remained evident. "You just remember to take care of yourself… and my grandchild." The sadness of the farewell moment was only multiplied by the additional announcement of Sue Ellen's unexpected condition, and Miss Ellie could only hope J.R. would resign his mini-feud with Bobby before Sue Ellen could bring another Ewing into the world. Enough of her family had already been divided, with Gary and Val in California, and Miss Ellie's heart ached at the threat of being absent in one of her grandchildren's lives. Her lack of control over the situation became more and more obvious, not to mention frustrating, but Miss Ellie forced herself to smile through it.

As he watched Miss Ellie embrace Sue Ellen, her heavy heart a familiar sight after Gary's constant dismissal of the family ranch, Jock scowled at his eldest son. Temper tantrums weren't usually J.R.'s style and his sudden declaration to uproot his family from Southfork was certainly unforeseen but Jock didn't doubt his namesake would soon return home, most likely with his tail between his legs. If Jock knew anything about J.R., it was that his son characteristically planned every move he made and his impulsive decision to leave Southfork was therefore destined to fail. An expert in emotional blackmail, J.R. had expected Jock to force Bobby into returning the presidency title to him, but Jock had called his bluff, leaving J.R. with no choice but to follow through with his threat. His hand firmly patted J.R. on the back, distracting him from his duty of loading the car with the over-packed suitcases. "I hope you know what you're doing, J.R.."

Stepping away from his father's reach, J.R. nodded in confirmation, "Yes, sir."

Since J.R. had rebuffed any questions as to their intended destination, Jock highly doubted it. "We'll expect a phone call to hear you got wherever it is you're going safely." Unlike Bobby's threat to leave the family ranch, Jock knew J.R. shared a stronger link to the family home and the obligations it held than Bobby did; J.R. would never leave Dallas on a permanent basis.

Once again, J.R. nodded with conviction, "You bet." Slamming the roof of the trunk down, J.R. strolled around the side of the car and slipped an arm around his wife's waist. "Sue Ellen, honey, are you ready?" He purposely snubbed any attempt of eye contact from his brother as Sue Ellen kissed Bobby and Pam goodbye. Reaching out to his mother, J.R. kissed her cheek, "Bye, mama." Next in line, Jock stretched out his hand and J.R. abruptly shook it, "Dad."

The remaining family members stepped back as J.R. and Sue Ellen climbed into the backseat of the car and J.R. instructed the driver to Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. While Jock, Miss Ellie and Pam waved as the car departed Southfork, Bobby sadly bowed his head to the ground. Despite his external bravado, Bobby wasn't sure if he had the capabilities of running Ewing Oil the way J.R. had and he never anticipated J.R. surrendering his position completely and leaving Southfork. Noticing his mother's upset, Bobby's brow furrowed. "They'll be home soon, mama. Besides, after what they've been through these past few months, some time away from Southfork will do them the world of good."

Determined not to dwell, knowing it would be the end goal J.R. had envisaged, Jock rubbed Miss Ellie's back and turned to his youngest son. "C'mon, Bobby, we've got business to discuss."

Father and son wandered back inside and Pam cloaked her arm around Miss Ellie's shoulders as they walked to the patio dining area. "Bobby's right, you know. J.R. and Sue Ellen haven't had it easy since John Ross was born." Not wanting to go fully into detail, with her brother at the heart of their marital problems, Pam sat down with her mother-in-law. "And you know how people like to talk in Dallas. For once, I'm in agreement with J.R.; there's nothing better for them than to be away from all the controversy this new pregnancy will bring about."

"I know you're right. I'm just not sure I like the thought of them away from the family like this." Miss Ellie heavily exhaled, slightly disappointed in herself for letting the situation hit so hard. "I just don't understand it. J.R. didn't even say where they were going. Anything could happen to them and we'd be none the wiser to it."

"If I know J.R., he has a plan." One mistake Pam would never make was to underestimate the eldest Ewing son and the lengths he would strive for to better himself. Power was as addictive to J.R. as alcohol was to Sue Ellen; the one person Pam worried most for was John Ross in the midst of his parents' dysfunction. "A little time away leaves the calm before the storm for when they return. Because you can bet that's what it'll be, Miss Ellie; a storm. When J.R. comes home, he'll want his position back at Ewing Oil and I'm not so sure Bobby will relinquish it that easily." Worry clouded her words and Miss Ellie shot a sympathetic smile in Pam's direction, knowing Bobby's new position as President of Ewing Oil had caused a strain in their marriage. If Bobby couldn't find the balance between work and family life, a balance which seemed to come so natural to Jock, then Miss Ellie found it hard to be so critical of J.R. and his disregard of Sue Ellen over the years.

Physically shrugging off the negative cloud of the conversation, Miss Ellie allowed Theresa to refill her earlier discarded glass with water and smiled. "Well, maybe you're right but I have a feeling J.R. might be a little preoccupied with the new baby coming along." The birth of John Ross had spirited Miss Ellie back to earlier years when Lucy had been young and, while having a young child around the house had been a little tiring, Miss Ellie revelled in how much more alive the ranch felt with a new-born. "Which means we'll have to find another room for a second nursery. Perhaps, we could decorate one for them. I can't think of anything nicer than having a new nursery for them to come home to!"

Pam mirrored her mother-in-law's grin, if not her enthusiasm. "I'm sure Sue Ellen would appreciate that. The Store has a whole floor dedicated to mothers and babies and Liz mentioned there would be new stock in at the end of this month; I can try and hold some of it back before it goes out on sale if you'd like to have a look at it?"

"Alright. Thank you, Pam. Let me know when and we'll pick out some things for the nursery together." Her previous sadness had transpired somewhat into a mild excitement of the eventual future. At least this new project would require her full attention and one could only assume the period of J.R. and Sue Ellen's absence would pass by quicker.


	5. Welcome To Alaska

**5. Welcome To Alaska**

"Thank you, honey." J.R. generously tipped young lady from the home-catering service as she completed the set-up of their dining experience.

His stomach hungrily rumbled at the appetizing aroma; he may have left Southfork but his body remained in-sync with life on the ranch and J.R. had insisted upon dinner at 7pm. As if marching to his own beat, Sue Ellen automatically appeared from the second bedroom and noticed the set-up on the dining table. "Is that dinner?"

"Sure is! Is John Ross asleep?" Her husband replied, standing two wine glasses upright and retrieving the bottle of non-alcoholic wine from the ice stand. His wife nodded and J.R. poured them each a healthy glassful. As Sue Ellen sipped hers and admired the presentation of the food, J.R. grinned, "Well, what d'you think, darlin'?" After the seven hours of travelling and arrival at their new home, Sue Ellen had barely spoken two words; a disappointing reaction for J.R., who had hoped to create a much heftier stir in the waters.

"About what, J.R.; the food, or the fact that we're now living in Alaska?" Her snappy response only supplemented the icy chill in the air and J.R. pouted in irritation. Relenting, Sue Ellen took another look around the Alaskan chalet which had been built from a wooden structure; two floors, an estimated 1500 square foot and a garden with ample space for John Ross to play safely in, not to mention the hot-tub on the patio which overlooked a mountainous area. "Well, it's no Southfork but it's nice enough." While the arctic weather wasn't such a turn on, especially in the height of winter, Sue Ellen couldn't deny that J.R. had chosen a serenely scenic spot. Located only a few miles north from one of Alaska's most thriving cities, Anchorage, and built on the edge of a peaceful lake, the chalet contained a certain amount of charm. "But don't think I don't realise why you chose Alaska, of all the places in the world." Her husband looked rather intrigued by her suggested insight. "Alaska's well known for its crude oil reserves; I'm sure you have something up your sleeve to convince your daddy that you're the rightful President of Ewing Oil. The façade of a family vacation only works well in your favour but I'm fully aware that John Ross and I are not your primary concern."

"Oh, honey, ye have little faith. I brought you and John Ross here because the three of us deserve some time to ourselves." A sly look fell over his features and he innocently shrugged his shoulders at her prior suggestion. "If I happen to come across a good business deal which could reiterate my position in the oil industry and prove to my daddy that I'm the man to run Ewing Oil, naturally I'm bound to look into it, for the sake of our son and the future I've promised him."

"Naturally," Sue Ellen foxily repeated.

Ignoring her sassiness, J.R. started in on his food. "Tomorrow, we'll call mama and daddy to let them know we arrived safely and then we can take John Ross into the city and have a look around. I'm not sure how long we'll be here for but I've hired a regular cleaning service. And, if you don't feel like cooking, we can order in whenever you like." All of his promises sounded almost too good to be true, Sue Ellen's expression told him that much, but J.R. simply grinned as he stretched out his hand to hers. "A new start, Sue Ellen. It's what you said you wanted." Delving into his food, J.R. hardly noticed his wife's lack of appetite. Munching on a mouthful of salmon, J.R. paused and swallowed the bite whole before leaning forward. "Well, what's the matter, honey? Aren't you hungry?" During their pleasant flight in first-class, Sue Ellen had politely refused the several offers of refreshments aside from two bottles of water and a selection of fresh fruits. "You need to keep your strength up, honey."

"I don't have much of an appetite." Nudging her plate further away, Sue Ellen placed her napkin beside it and ventured out onto the wooden patio which overlooked the now frozen lake.

A sigh escaped his lips and J.R. followed Sue Ellen, where she felt the refreshing breeze on her cheeks. "It's beautiful here, isn't it?" J.R. checked, to which Sue Ellen nodded in agreement. "And just think about it. Come spring, that lake will have thawed out and everything will be greener than you ever imagined. Maybe by the summer, it'll be warm enough to swim in."

Sue Ellen swivelled on the spot, facing her husband with wonder. "Is that how long we'll be here for?" Her eyes drifted to the mountainous scenery; it was a whole world away from dusty plains of their hometown in Texas. "Because it's becoming more and more obvious to me that this trip is a much more permanent fixture than you originally led me to believe, J.R.." She frowned, desperately trying to reach her husband's frame of mind. "I know this is because of Ewing Oil, but do you really think you can wear your daddy down when you're thousands of miles away?"

In truth, J.R. didn't really have an answer to her question. In the face of his father's defiance, J.R. had run out of options hence the reason for his impulsive decision to leave Southfork. However, J.R. played his best poker face and leaned on the wooden rails of the patio in a self-assured manner. "Sue Ellen, after ten years of marriage, I'd expect you to know me better, honey. J.R. Ewing always has a plan B." One thing his father had taught him the importance of was contacts; J.R. had remained on a friendly basis with many former fellow-students from college who were also destined to inherit the family oil business and, lucky for him, Alan Campbell of Campbell Energies remained particularly close. "There are plenty of doors open to me up here and I intend to venture inside every one of them."

"So will we be here long enough for me to have to assign myself a doctor?" Sue Ellen inquired.

"I have this chalet on a six-month contract. Now, that doesn't mean we're here for a definite six months but it does mean we're settled for the foreseeable future." J.R. answered, hoping to soothe any of her qualms about the rather extensive leap they had made into the unknown. "Sue Ellen," his hand lifted her chin to ensure her eyes would meet his. "I know it'll be a while before you trust me again but I have faith that you will. After all, you found it in your heart to forgive me." Never one to deeply express his feelings, especially those of regret, J.R. skipped around the situation with Kristin, who had somehow lost her magnetism now that Sue Ellen had fallen pregnant with their second child. Sensing her reluctance to fully reconnect, J.R. pulled her in closer and lowered his voice. "We're further apart than we've ever been before. Things haven't been right between us in a long time and I know we can't just forget about it overnight but I'm hoping our time away from Southfork, away from Dallas, will give you time to put things in perspective." His hand caressed the curve of her head, feeling an abundance of thick, chestnut curls against his skin. Slowly, his face inched closer and closer to hers until his lips softly grazed against hers and J.R. could feel hers start to quiver under the tension. "We could finally have our marriage back on track. Don't you want that?"

Images flashed dramatically in Sue Ellen's mind; if she had learnt anything from experience, it was that rushing into a reconciliation only resulted in further heartbreak. Rebuilding that wall of trust, which had been shattered by his betrayal, had been what had exhausted Sue Ellen more than anything. Having those walls torn down in yet another thoughtless act had nearly caused the death of both herself and their son, a tragedy which Sue Ellen did not intend to repeat. Breaking free from J.R., Sue Ellen bowed her head. "I wouldn't be here, if I didn't. It's just not as simple as all that." Until she could find faith in her husband, she needed to find faith in herself and Sue Ellen simply hadn't acquired that yet. After a decade of marriage to J.R., Sue Ellen still didn't feel like a _real_ Ewing. If it weren't for the anonymous bail payment, which still baffled Sue Ellen, the Ewing's would have allowed her to rot behind bars for a crime she hadn't committed. What pained Sue Ellen most was that had it been any other member of the family, guilty or not, the Ewing's wouldn't have allowed them to suffer such an indignity. For Sue Ellen, it only cemented her position as an outcast at Southfork.

J.R. could feel Sue Ellen emotionally fall away from him and let his arms drop to his waist. "Well, what can I do to make it right?"

A shudder of confusion vibrated within Sue Ellen and she softly shook her head as she whispered, "I don't know." Before J.R. could voice his frustration, a rhythmic knock and the cries of their son came from within the chalet. Sue Ellen ran her fingers through her hair with a heavy sigh. "I'll answer that. Would you check on John Ross? I can't seem to settle him."

While J.R. strolled upstairs to the nursery, Sue Ellen answered the door to find a middle-aged. "Hello, I'm Haley Brennan." She stretched out her hand and Sue Ellen cordially shook it, rather surprised to discover the blonde-haired woman on her doorstep at such a late hour when the chalet seemed relatively detached from all other signs of life. "I was just driving past when I noticed the light on. This old place has been abandoned for quite some time; you must be new to the area?"

"Sue Ellen Ewing, it's a pleasure to meet you." Sue Ellen allowed the door to open slightly further. "My husband, J.R., and I just moved to the area from Texas with our son."

"It's nice to meet you, Sue Ellen." Her arms hugged to her chest, the woman fought the winter chill with a brave smile. "I live in a chalet just a hundred yards down the road with my father and my daughter. She's almost a teenager now but, by the sound of it, you've got a little one on your hands." Haley verbally pointed out the relentless cries from John Ross and Sue Ellen laughed in agreement. "I know it's late so I'll leave you in peace and we can properly acquaint ourselves another time when it's more convenient for you." Sue Ellen eagerly nodded her head as the woman walked backwards down the step approaching to the entrance of the chalet. "Welcome to Alaska!"

"Thank you." Sue Ellen called out, as Haley climbed into the 4x4 vehicle with its engine still running. A relieved smile spread over Sue Ellen's lips; Haley's introduction was just about the first, and only, sign Sue Ellen had received to reassure her that a new start in Anchorage, Alaska of all places might not be the worst idea J.R. had ever had.


	6. One Step Forward, A Thousand Back

**6. One Step Forward, A Thousand Back**

Home from his first prosperous business meeting, J.R. anticipated the sounds of Sue Ellen's feeble attempts to soothe their sons excessive cries but found himself greeted with an eerie silence. He discarded his briefcase beside the door and glanced up the stairs for any sign of life. "Sue Ellen?"

"In the kitchen!" His wife's response came with the unmistakable smell of burning and J.R. raced into the kitchen where Sue Ellen retrieved a shrivelled and blackened piece of chicken from the oven as smoke filled the atmosphere with a merciless force. "Damn it." Sue Ellen muttered underneath her breath, yanking the oven gloves from her hands and slamming them onto the kitchen counter. "Well, there goes dinner!" She started to pace with an irrationality about her and J.R. waited in silence for the inevitable explosion. "We haven't even been here for a full week yet and already things are going wrong left, right and centre! My first attempt at cooking and it's burnt beyond recognition." She started to pace back and forth, well-equipped to list their recent troubles, as J.R. wrinkled his nose in an effort to break free of the burning stench and shot a disgusted look at the food. "None of the clothes I packed seem remotely appropriate for the kind of weather we're stuck in and John Ross still hasn't adjusted to the cold. He's so cold that he barely sleeps at night, J.R.!"

That much couldn't be denied, and J.R. nodded sympathetically at Sue Ellen. Their son had made his discontentment with the move from Texas crystal clear and Sue Ellen had been the one to bear the brunt of it, while J.R. attended every business meeting possible, reaching for every opportunity to prove himself capable of steering Ewing Oil. "Where is he anyhow?" The mention of John Ross had provoked J.R. to realise John Ross wasn't in his playpen beside the roaring fire or anywhere to be seen, for that matter.

Sue Ellen motioned to the stairs and sighed. "He's asleep in our room, but I don't know how long that'll last." In the face of so many predicaments, Sue Ellen's enthusiasm for their "new start" had visibly decreased. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, J.R.; I'm hardly Carol Brady!" Suddenly, the creature comforts of Southfork she had resented once upon a time were now all she craved; having someone cater to their every whim had become something Sue Ellen now relied on. Reaching the end of her rant, Sue Ellen flicked the few wisps of her hair away from her eyelashes and looked at J.R. with a much calmer expression. "How did your meetings go?"

An extensive grin appeared and J.R. chuckled, "Well, lady luck's on our side as usual, darlin'!" J.R. shook off his grey jacket and loosened his favourite blue-toned tie. "Did I ever introduce you to an old college buddy of mine called Alan Campbell?" His wife expressed a look of deep contemplation but eventually shook her head. "Well, he runs Campbell Energies but he never could tell oil from mud so he's been having a little trouble running the family business; and by a little trouble, I mean a lot. The company's been in his family since his grandfather founded it and, I tell you, Sue Ellen, Ewing Oil sure could benefit from some of the assets they've acquired over the years. His daddy wasn't stupid." The notion that J.R. wasn't far from proving himself, which inevitably meant there wouldn't be longer before their return home to Southfork, electrified his bones with excitement. "All it'll take is a few more nudges in the right places and he'll have no choice but to sell."

Relieved that something was going right for them, Sue Ellen bobbed her head in a half-hearted nod but reminders of Southfork had already started to cloud her judgement. "Have you called your father?"

"Not yet." J.R. poured himself a pre-dinner drink, as his stomach rumbled but repelled the smell of burnt chicken. One look from Sue Ellen and J.R. feigned innocence. "What with my meetings all day long and looking over the financial aspects of Campbell Energies, I just haven't found the time to do it, but I will." His promising tone didn't cut it, and had it not been for Sue Ellen's exhaustion, she would have pursued the issue further. Besides, Sue Ellen could only assume J.R. knew what he was doing. No doubt, this was his take on making his father sweat it out.

Switching the kettle on, Sue Ellen initiated the makings of a chamomile tea. She plucked the business card for the home-catering service from underneath the magnet letter "A" on the fridge and offered it over to her husband. "Why don't you order whatever you feel like for dinner?" Stifling a yawn, Sue Ellen rubbed her forehead. "I'd rather catch up on sleep while John Ross is settled."

"Well, do you have to?" J.R. checked, tossing the business card aside. "I had hoped you and I could continue our discussion from the other night." In reality, aside from the odd moment when his mind had been focused on the benefits for Ewing Oil, J.R.'s head had contained nothing but thoughts of Sue Ellen. "The way I see it, we're both striving for the same goal, Sue Ellen. There's nothing more important to me in the world right now than to have you happy and healthy." Being forced to witness a repetition of Sue Ellen's pregnancy with John Ross did not tantalize J.R. in the slightest, knowing full well he would be defenceless to control the backlash if her alcoholism were to rear its ugly head again. He may have resented his family's interference, at the time, but J.R. didn't delude himself into thinking that he could have dealt with it by himself. "It's imperative that you understand that."

"I do understand, J.R., and I appreciate it, I really do." Although his various actions, most recently his betrayal with Kristin, were more than enough ammunition to shoot down his remark, Sue Ellen simply agreed with her husband, in the hopes of being one step closer to a good night's rest. Wearily, she filled her cup near to the brim with boiling water and marvelled at the golden tones of the chamomile tea as the aroma entered her nostrils, provoking her to deeply inhale the herbal scent. Turning to leave the kitchen, Sue Ellen sensed her husband's disappointment and rested her hand on his lower arm. "Can we discuss it another time?"

"We can't avoid it forever, sweetheart." J.R. yearningly warned, his eyes intrusively searching hers.

"Goodnight, J.R.." Sue Ellen leaned in and fondly kissed his cheek, before carrying on her path to their bedroom. The first step to rekindling their romance had been sharing the same bed again. While they hadn't separated themselves into different rooms at Southfork, the bed had so much space it allowed their bodies to completely disconnect with so much distance between one another that they barely knew if the other was just inches from them. However, recently, J.R.'s slow but sure shuffles closer to her body in the middle of the night, enclosing the space between them, hadn't gone unnoticed.

Five minutes passed and the chalet had reached an innate silence before J.R. reached across the arm of the sofa, where he had collapsed in thought, and dialled the number for Harry McSween. Just as expected, the dial-tone only managed to ring twice before Harry competently answered it. "McSween, it's J.R. Ewing. Do you have any updates for me?"

The gruff voice of the private eye could be heard over the shuffling of papers in the background. "Not a whole lot, J.R.. But your brother has been in contact with Cliff Barnes of late."

J.R. unconsciously rolled his eyes. "Barnes! What the hell does Bobby want with him?" It didn't take J.R. long to connect the dots; communications had probably begun to take place at the request of his demure little sister-in-law, who blindly envisioned a future where the Barnes-Ewing feud had come to a mutually beneficial conclusion. With McSween unable to answer the questions spinning in his head, J.R. exhaled heavily and rubbed his forehead. "Alright. Keep an eye on him and see what you can find out. I do not want Cliff Barnes involved in Ewing Oil." A further pause interrupted the phone call and, after a moment of conflicted consideration, J.R. sat himself upright. "And, McSween, I want you to do one other thing for me; I need you to locate my sister-in-law, Kristin Shepard. She should be in California but I somehow suspect she's already taken flight and –" J.R. stifled the lump in his throat, "For the next few months, at least, she's of extreme interest to me." The scrape of McSween's pen could be heard against the paper as he scribbled down Kristin's name and J.R. waited for the sound to end before he broke off the call. "Let me know what you find out." Replacing the phone onto its hook, the shadow in the corner above attracted his attention and the vision of Sue Ellen in her nightgown came into view, a look of fury encased on her distinct features. His heart physically sunk further into his chest and J.R. followed her puppy-like into the kitchen. "Sue Ellen." Years of marital trouble had prepared J.R. for the imminent silent treatment but J.R. continued to verbally prod his wife as she started to wash out their son's milk bottle and mix a new formula. "Sue Ellen, honey."

Avoiding the situation, at all costs, Sue Ellen cleared her throat. "John Ross is almost out of milk. I don't want him getting hungry in the middle of the night."

Her icy exterior had seized the warmth from his cheek, where her lips had grazed it just moments beforehand, and J.R. inwardly kicked himself for his rookie mistake. Discretion had never been a skill he had entirely mastered. It was partly his own doing; subtlety simply wasn't in his nature and J.R. was an animal of primal instinct. "Sue Ellen?" Once again, his voice pestered and promised to aggravate until her exterior exploded. His impatience soon had the better of him and J.R. deepened his voice. "You really gon' ignore me? Have it kicking around in your mind 'til you explode?"

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, J.R.?" Sue Ellen tore her attention away from the frothing milk mixture and she narrowed her eyes. "You'd love to be able to call home to Southfork and tell them all how out of control I am. Should I bother to unpack, or is there a sanatorium just around the corner you'd like to imprison me in again?" Her scathing attack of sarcasm continued but J.R. held his tongue in the midst of the anticipated backlash. "Poor J.R., he can't seem to do anything right for that tyrant of a wife of his! I wonder, how on earth has he put up with her all these years?" Sue Ellen could only imagine the kind of façade J.R. had used to brainwash many a woman into bed with him; all his flirtatious lines at the expense of her withered reputation. "Well, you needn't worry, J.R., because I am in no mood to engage in another argument with you. I'll be damned if I let you have the satisfaction." Unable to stand his company, Sue Ellen snatched the bottle and started back to her bedroom.

"Can't you understand? I'm only trying to do right by the child." J.R. solicited, the exasperation in his tone evident.

The innocence in his words caused Sue Ellen to swivel promptly and dare him to preach another word. "Oh, you're a regular angel of mercy, J.R.!" In her heart, Sue Ellen couldn't fault J.R.; for possibly the first time ever, his intentions were honourable. What she resented was the constant reminder of the betrayal by the two people who were supposedly the closest ones to her heart, what she resented was _the_ child. Her firstborn niece or nephew would be born only a month before her second child and they would both share the same father; her husband, the infamous J.R. Ewing. The desperation in his eyes, pleading for her rationality to return, mentally knocked Sue Ellen off-balance and she softened her voice a decibel. "If history's anything to go by, your interactions with my sister are strictly none of my business and I'd rather we kept it that way. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Reluctantly, J.R. allowed her to leave the room without another word spoken between them. Cursing under his breath, J.R. despised the state of their relationship; with every step forward, another catastrophe blew them a thousand steps backward and J.R. wondered just how they would ever find themselves back on track before the baby arrived.


	7. The Dinner

**7. The Dinner…**

J.R. heartily chuckled to himself. Things couldn't have been going any better, in terms of business at least. With every pursuit, J.R. could practically feel Alan Campbell's resolve decay and the power surge like electricity in his palm. The kind of acquaintances Campbell Energies had acquired over the years would surely put Ewing Oil in the best position it's ever been and J.R. felt dizzy with the excitement at being the one responsible for it. Intoxicated with his recent string of successes, J.R. let the front door slam behind him and noticed his wife's body shake awake as she bolted upright on the sofa. He dropped his briefcase down and rushed forward. "Hell, I'm sorry, darlin', I didn't mean to wake you."

As her vision refocused, Sue Ellen ran her fingers through her frazzled curls with a yawn. "It's alright." One look at the clock told Sue Ellen that what had felt like five minutes had actually been nearly two hours and she shook the sleepiness from her head, bemused by how easily her body could fall unconscious at the slightest position of comfort. The pregnancy had consumed every unit of energy her body could produce and, with John Ross still unable to settle in, her hours of sleep had considerably deteriorated. "You're home early, aren't you?"

Jaded streams of sunlight had already started to outline the room as Sue Ellen began to collect the various toys left behind in John Ross' wake and J.R. checked his watch. "Well, daddy always taught me to quit while I'm ahead. Besides, there's plenty of time for business tomorrow." His eyes diverted momentarily into the kitchen, "I can see you haven't started dinner yet. Why don't we eat out?"

"Actually, I had made plans but I didn't bank on you being home until, at least, 7ish." Sue Ellen replied, checking her watch.

"Plans?" J.R. repeated. "What plans?" In her fury, Sue Ellen spoke to him on a need-to-know basis and their conversations related to only John Ross and Southfork. She listened in on every phone call he initiated or received, no doubt, wondering whether there had been any new information on Kristin. Much to J.R.'s irritation, Kristin had managed to keep herself under the radar but Harry had assured him that he was working on a strong lead.

"Well, I've left John Ross in Haley's care for a few hours and I had decided to cook dinner for us tonight." The stress of monitoring J.R.'s every movement had done her no good, and Sue Ellen decided to strive for the _normal_ family that her son deserved; that meant allowing J.R. an inch of her trust, but miles of honesty, and Sue Ellen wasn't about to voice her concerns in front of her son, especially when she knew the kind of outburst the potential confrontation could instigate.

"Haley?" Her husband scowled, his expression lacking recognition. "You don't mean that little girl who lives in that shrivelled old chalet, do you? Honey, she's a stranger!""

"Haley is a 32 year old woman with a daughter of her own. And that _shrivelled old chalet_ is a nice enough place, J.R.. We don't all have the money to buy the kind of place that looks like the kind of second home only a celebrity could afford." Sue Ellen surveyed the extravagant-looking chalet and rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Haley's become a very good friend in the short time we've been here and she offered to look after John Ross while you and I… discussed things." With J.R. consistently out to prove himself, Sue Ellen found herself lonely in the company of her restless one-year old son and Haley became an attractive option, especially when Haley mentioned that her mother had been the original Miss Texas 1936 before marrying her father and moving to Canada. The link back home to Texas had only provoked Sue Ellen to become a little more open and embrace Haley has her new, and only, friend.

"Discussed what things, exactly? Listen, Sue Ellen, I don't feel comfortable leaving our son with someone we barely know!" J.R. growled. He didn't relish the potential of a tongue-lashing from Sue Ellen regarding their marital problems, or rather an endless list of his wrongdoings over the years.

Irked by the accusation behind his remark, Sue Ellen's temper flared. "I may not have known her long but I'd like to think myself a fairly good judge of character! Though marrying you certainly speaks to the contrary!" Half of her almost raced out the door to bring John Ross home and abandon her plans for what potentially resembled a romantic night alone with J.R. but Sue Ellen stood her ground. "Look, J.R., she doesn't live far and I told her I'd collect John Ross before she has her daughter in bed which means you and I only have a couple hours to talk. Now, we can either waste that time arguing about whether John Ross is in safe hands or we can really talk."

J.R.'s exterior slumped slightly in a sign of relenting and he nodded, "Alright."

Relieved by his decision, Sue Ellen softened her voice a little more. "And, for your information, Mr Know-It-All, I cooked dinner this afternoon. I've kept it warm. It won't take long to dish out, so why don't you take a shower and I'll have it on the table by the time you're back down here?" She could see J.R. physically relax at her playful comment and turned into the kitchen as J.R. started up the stairs, per her instruction. Going about her business, Sue Ellen could almost feel her nerves shake as she contemplated how such a conversation could possibly start between J.R. and herself. There had been so many offenses in their marriage that no apology could possibly rectify the damage inflicted on one another, but perhaps they could learn from the past. Within ten minutes, J.R. had showered and bounded down the stairs in a fresh change of clothes. Reaching for the cutlery to set the table, J.R. transported himself back to his childhood when he and his father had always laid the table for another exquisite dish prepared by his mother; the times of Southfork being without an extra hand seemed like another lifetime itself. By the time they had dinner in front of them, Sue Ellen furtively observed J.R. take his first bite before she found the courage to ask his opinion. "Well, what do you think?"

"It's good!" J.R. grinned, before his forehead lined itself with a frown. "What the hell is it?"

Sue Ellen's eyebrow rose. "Steak Au Poivre." Still, J.R. remained clueless and Sue Ellen rolled her eyes as she rested her napkin on her lap. "It's a French dish. Steak seasoned in Cognac, which is a French variation of Brandy, and it also happens to be the first dish I learned to prepare. I haven't cooked it in a while so I wasn't sure how it would turn out," she admitted. Mild conversation continued concerning John Ross and J.R. had almost guzzled his entire meal before Sue Ellen set her tableware down. "Have you received any word on Kristin?" His eyes portrayed all the innocence J.R. could muster but Sue Ellen leaned forward with her elbows rested each side of her plate. "Oh, come on, J.R.. You know I know you've been tracing her and I know you know something."

It took all his might not to choke on his mouthful and J.R. dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin. Her frank approach to things that had once been concealed in their marriage was still an abrupt manner that J.R. simply couldn't adjust himself to in Sue Ellen. "McSween hasn't had much luck but I believe he's expecting to find her in the Las Vegas area." His wife reacted with a knowing look in her eyes; she knew better than anyone how manipulative Kristin could be. "Once the baby's born, she won't find it so easy to conceal herself."

"And what happens when the baby's born?" Sue Ellen asked. "Are you gon' let her raise your child God knows where? You know, she'll hold it over your head for the rest of your life."

"I don't have much choice, do I?" J.R. didn't even bother to request her permission to bring his child home to Southfork. Aside from Sue Ellen's reaction, his father may be too old to tan his hide but J.R. would surely receive a mouthful. "She'll receive her monthly cheque and it'll keep her in line. I'll make sure of that." While J.R. inwardly doubted the paternity of Kristin's child, Kristin had been privy to his many discrepancies in the oil business and J.R. didn't want to risk the threat of exposure.

Sue Ellen's eyes narrowed, "You mean, you wouldn't take the child from her and send her to jail for what did to you?"

"No." J.R. shook his head.

"Why not?" Vivid memories of her arrest came back to haunt Sue Ellen and she felt her calm resolve shatter almost immediately. "It was sure as hell what you had planned for me!" Disgust tainted her taste as she looked her husband dead in the eye and pathetically attempted to hide her upset. "How could you that to me? How could you doubt me like that?"

Jumping to his own defence, J.R. threw his napkin down. "Doubt you? You did all but confess to shooting me!" In his heart of hearts, J.R. wondered if his decision to allow Sue Ellen to rot in jail had been the punishment he truly wanted to inflict, or just another way to please his father, who had been adamant that Sue Ellen pay for the near-murder of his son. "Listen, honey, that's all over now –"

"How can you expect forgiveness, J.R., if you don't offer me the same courtesy?" She lowered her voice in hopes of calming the conversation. "Every mistake you've made, I've forgiven you. EVERY one of them, J.R.! The affairs you were discrete about, and the ones you weren't, your reaction to my decision to adopt, your dismissal of me the entire time I was pregnant with our son, your dismissal of John Ross for weeks after he was born and don't even get me started on the Kristin debacle!" Flicking the wisps of hair from her eyes, Sue Ellen deepened her gaze so much that her colours almost darkened into a chocolate brown colour from the intensity of her emotions. "I did my best to understand you. Can you say the same thing? When you found out I had an affair with Cliff, did you forgive me? When you thought I had been the one who shot you, did you even want to hear my side of it?" For a moment, as she reverted back, Sue Ellen could barely believe the words she had so desperately needed to say had actually left her lips but one look at J.R.'s dumbstruck expression confirmed it and Sue Ellen sighed. "I know you, J.R.. I know that every decision you make – good or bad – you make it in the hopes of making your daddy proud or becoming that much more like him." He bowed his head from her eyes, as Sue Ellen expected him to under her psychological observation. There was something about being too open or too readable that terrified J.R. and, for that reason alone, Sue Ellen had done her best to never voice her insight. "And you are like Jock, in many ways; in the oil business, some might even say you're a little smarter than your daddy. You have a cunning streak that nobody could, or want to, match." Her sneaky smile was quickly reflected as J.R. lifted his head and smirked with an ounce of pride. "But there's one thing your father excels at, something you've yet to master yourself." She paused, heightening the intensity as J.R. awaited the word. "Women."


	8. And The Reconiliation

**8. …And The Reconciliation**

A small scoff chirped from J.R.'s throat and he shot her a brazen expression. "Sue Ellen, I don't think I need to assure you that I've mastered women. Correct me if I'm wrong but, isn't that the problem we seem to be having?" Memories from his endless list of conquests came back to him and J.R. allowed a small smile to himself in the short moment Sue Ellen's eyes left him.

"Oh, I'm sure you're God's gift to women, _physically_." Her sarcastic remark brought about a childish pout from her husband and Sue Ellen collected the near-empty plates and placed them on the island counter in the kitchen. "But I'm talking about the emotional connection between a man and a woman." She started to pour her husband an after-dinner drink as J.R. moved over to the window and filled his mind with any other vision but Sue Ellen. "The kind of connection that binds a couple for life. When I married you, it was because I loved you, and because I assumed you loved me back." The inch of Bourbon in the tumbler rippled with every movement as Sue Ellen offered the glass to her husband. "To this day, I can't decipher whether you truly did." Her husband had never been an easy man to read and it hadn't been coincidental; J.R. had an involuntary fear of exposing any sign of vulnerability or weakness.

"Would I have married you, if I didn't?" J.R. retorted, accepting the drink.

Like always, the potential affection behind his words permitted a faint flutter of her heart. "I honestly don't know." Communication and expression of heartfelt feelings were never J.R.'s strong point, which left Sue Ellen with the lifelong task of reading between the lines. It was a task which had taken her nearly a decade to fulfil; a stark contrast to the few weeks it had taken Kristin. "I do know you didn't quite trust me or the way I claimed to feel about you. Even now, I can see the doubt in your eyes when I spoke those vows." Sue Ellen closed her eyes tight, picturing her husband as handsome as ever in that tuxedo as the sunlight illuminated his golden strands which were slicked to the right. "I didn't understand it then, but I've learnt to see things in a different light."

His instinctive emotional defences flew into position and J.R. threw the liquor back, grateful for its merciless burn. "Well, you've certainly become more perceptive since your daily sessions with Dr Elby."

Standing to his left, Sue Ellen raised her head and admired the blue tint in his grey-coloured eyes; it was a colouring that could only be seen in a certain light and Sue Ellen adored it. "How could you possibly allow yourself to trust in me when you've been raised to believe the basis of trust is just another form of weakness?" Though Jock had become more tranquil over the years, Miss Ellie had recalled enough stories of J.R.'s childhood for Sue Ellen to appreciate the rough learning curves J.R. had endured. Parents of his generation had always prided itself on the transition between boy and man, though many silently bore the hardship, constantly in fear of failure. For the consequences of failure were lifelong, and traumatising, emotional scars; as a result, J.R. had unconsciously hardened his heart and allowed his thickened skin to ward off any kind of attachment which threatened to prevent his success. What Sue Ellen had always known was the key to such success meant his father's approval, something Jock had never been too generous with. In fact, it had saddened and bewildered Sue Ellen to witness from afar as his parents shamelessly disregarded him and every futile effort he pursued to garner their attention, while being side-lined by either Gary or Bobby. "How could you have possibly made yourself available to me when every waking your was consumed with your need to make your daddy proud?" The sting of Sue Ellen's insight caused J.R. to inwardly flinch and he abruptly removed himself from her reach to refill his drink. "With every failed attempt to attain his pride or acknowledgement, you became a little darker and a little more distant. The more you wanted to become Jock, the more I wanted to become your mama. He happily credited her for his success; he called her his inspiration and fearlessly admitted he could never envision a life without her beside him. Do you know how much I wanted to be that for you?"

"Is that the kind of future you envisioned?" J.R. growled, "Is that all you wanted from life; to be my inspiration?" His tone openly mocked her open-hearted confession, and J.R. returned his attention to another refill rather than greet the hurt in her hazel eyes as she reacted to his cruel remark.

"The kind of future I envisioned?" A dreamy smile spread across Sue Ellen's lips; in her haze of youth, Sue Ellen had blindly an anticipated a future with J.R. which could only warrant the description of pure perfection. A home at Southfork, children to occupy her hours of boredom until her husband returned home from his 9-5 work hours as the President of Ewing Oil. "Is far from the life you and I have led and continue to lead but –" Sue Ellen reigned in her bottom lip and almost found herself unable to say it. "I don't think I'd change any of it." His eyes widened in confusion, and slight disgust, and Sue Ellen shrugged her shoulders as if to answer his unspoken question. "I don't know why. Perhaps because the dreams I had back then weren't realistic to who you were, or to who I am."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He frowned.

The "bigger person" in Sue Ellen emerged and she sighed heavily as she folded her arms across her chest. "It means that this apology is long-overdue but it's taken me this long to realise that I need to accept half the responsibility for the failures in our marriage." A look relief, and disbelief, appeared on her husband's face in the wake of her admission. "I've allowed you to shoulder the blame for far too long and I haven't been fair to you." In her desperation, as she fell into the deepening pool of alcoholism, Sue Ellen had maliciously painted pictures of her husband in the worst light, knowing the kind of backlash it would provoke for J.R. and the kind of dissatisfaction Jock would have greeted him with. "I naively believed I could pretend away every problem in our relationship and you assumed my refusal to confront you permitted you free-reign in terms of commitment. When Julie Grey re-entered the picture, I stupidly tried to persuade myself I could live with another woman." She vigorously fought the threat of tears and sadly shook her head, "I couldn't." The endless list of insecurities spurned from a childhood ruled by her mother's perfectly manicured hands had developed a scathing weakness inside of Sue Ellen, a weakness which had suppressed any confrontational nature she may have possessed within. "Had I been strong enough to confront you early on, our marriage may very well have taken a completely different direction." Yet, Sue Ellen couldn't help but think she knew her husband better than she ever could, had their marriage taken any other course.

It didn't evade J.R. that both he and Sue Ellen had allowed their insecurities to squash any chance of pure happiness with one another. "It worked out for the best, didn't it? We've got John Ross and now that baby you're carrying." By the tone of his voice, J.R. let Sue Ellen know that her philosophical statements had exhausted his interest in the conversation.

"Don't you think a marriage should be more than the children it created?" Sue Ellen slyly approached her husband, with slow and furtive steps. Taken aback, and hopeful he hadn't misread her signal, J.R. closely studied his wife. It had become increasingly more difficult to decipher if _that_ look in her eyes was inspired by lust, or a much darker emotion. "I didn't marry you solely for children, J.R., and contrary to what you've always thought, I didn't marry you for money or the Ewing name and all it can bring." Dollar signs patterned the blackness J.R. could see when he closed his eyes; it was always his initial defence, to assume the people who gravitated toward him had an ulterior motive beneath their intoxicating affection.

"Well, what was it then, Sue Ellen? What made me so desperately attractive to you?" His tone remained short, uncertain where Sue Ellen's point would take the conversation.

"The way you made me feel." Those first encounters with J.R. had been alien-like for Sue Ellen; she had never known a man exude such confidence. The slow-seduction J.R. instigated caused Sue Ellen to realise that her relationship with Clint had been nothing more than childish romance; it had been shared between a boy and a girl, but J.R. made her feel like a woman. "I felt like we were invincible." Sue Ellen boldly motioned her body inches away from his and earnestly gazed into his eyes. "I've always felt so safe with you. Just having your arms around me would bring me peace of mind."

J.R. could feel the palm of her hands loosely caress each side of his waist until they rested on his belt. "And, now?"

"Now, I need that peace of my mind again." Eight weeks along in her pregnancy, an experience she had never cherished before, but one that appeared all that more daunting for her to face in the realm of her new sobriety and Sue Ellen didn't feel ashamed to admit that she needed her husband. "Still nothing's changed." Her voice instinctively lowered and she brazenly plucked the glass of Bourbon from his clutch. "Nobody can make me feel the way you do, J.R.." Neither Dusty nor Cliff had come close to stirring such an effect; his love relentlessly intoxicated her and, like alcohol, once it had entered her bloodstream, her body only craved more of the same regardless of the inevitable withdrawal. Her lips trembled somewhat as she inched closer and grazed his skin, registering the freshly-shaven feel to it and able to inhale his most natural scent. She could feel his determination as his body fought hard not to respond and Sue Ellen pressed her hands flat on his back, forcing his body to press against hers.

He firmly gripped both hands on the curve of her shoulders. "What kind of game are you playing, huh?" The physical distance between them since Kristin's departure for California had been as brutal as the months after John Ross had been born. His hand tingled at the touch of her body underneath it, as her eyes of seduction blew bullet holes into his weakening defences. "What is it you want?"

Sue Ellen's hand caressed his cheek as she whispered, "You."

No hesitation needed, his left hand reached for the curve of her head and he jerked Sue Ellen close enough to allow his tongue entrance to her mouth. A seductive moan groaned from her throat, causing him to deepen the embrace further. His passion electrified as her hands crawled through his hair and gently massaged his head, all the while urging him closer and closer. The sounds of material ripping from their bodies complimented the scuffle as they edged closer to warmth of the fire, not breaking the kiss for a moment. Time stood still as they basked in the ecstasy of the moment before their bodies collapsed into one another in exhaustion. The answer to the question they desperately craved had been found; things were back on track.


	9. Power & Sex

**9. Power & Sex**

**APRIL 1981**

While Sue Ellen had assumed Alaska to be a constant "winter-wonderland" all-year-around, the intensity of green soon proved her wrong. Natural lime-tones varied to dark olive green and the strength of the colour which dotted around the scenery struck a deep chord in Sue Ellen; the vitality of it easily reflected the state of her marriage to J.R., which had peaked an all-time high. Five months pregnant and radiant, Sue Ellen cherished the chance to share the experience of pregnancy with her husband as their relationship strengthened.

She stretched out on the sun-lounger and sweetly sighed in relaxation, as she watched J.R. play with John Ross at the edge of the thawed-out lake. The warmth of the sun-rays heated the mild chill in the spring air and Sue Ellen devoured an herbal tea to conserve her inner warmth. J.R. left John Ross with his toys and returned to his own lounger beside Sue Ellen. "Oh, honey, I tell you, I can't wait 'til he's old enough for me to teach him how to swim!"

Sue Ellen scowled light-heartedly at her husband. He didn't even need to try hard to sound like Jock, his inner-self threatening to mirror his father's forceful hand in childhood. "Well, why don't we let him focus on walking and talking first, darlin'?" She had made a personal promise to herself, not to hand full parental control of John Ross over to J.R. like Miss Ellie had done when Gary had been born; it would be a challenging balance but Sue Ellen was determined not to sacrifice either one of her children. Thoughts of the Ewing's filled her subconscious; both Jock and Miss Ellie had been such strong forces in her marriage to J.R. that Sue Ellen almost felt off-balance without their expectations to guide her in the _right_ direction. "Have you spoken to your father recently?"

It didn't escape her attention how adamantly J.R. refused to return her gaze when he answered. "Briefly, last night."

"Really?" Her eyebrow rose, disinclined to believe him. "Well, it must have been brief for Jock to forget all about it. He called here this morning and wanted to know why they hadn't heard from you." Jock being Jock, his words hadn't been phrased quite so rationally but Sue Ellen knew better than to corner her husband. "Don't you think you've taken this all a little bit too far?" What Sue Ellen didn't realise was that J.R. had avoided all communication home to Southfork for several weeks, in an attempt to have his father see sense; J.R. had hoped the longing for his grandson and forthcoming grandchild would be enough to force his father's hand but Jock had continuously called his bluff. It left J.R. with little option but to remain in Alaska, where his hopes of crushing Campbell Energies threatened to slowly evaporate into the lingering stench of smoky failure. "How can you position yourself as head of the company if you're not even living in Dallas?"

"And, do what?" Fully impatient with the situation, J.R. collected one of the loose stones and propelled it into the nearby lake. "Sit on the side-lines while Bobby runs my company?" He couldn't think of a crueller fate after the lifetime of being promised his daddy's company as his birth-right. One thing J.R. knew for certain; Bobby sure as hell hadn't worked as hard as him for it.

His frustration radiated in waves and Sue Ellen reached forward to tenderly massage his shoulders. A blissful gasp of air sprung from his lips as her nails nipped loosely at his skin; she had willingly been his sounding board for enough years to perfect a technique which soothed any grievance. Sue Ellen draped her arms around his neck and balanced her face into the crook of his shoulder, her lips closely paralleled to his right ear and J.R. monitored every shallow breath. "Well, it's just a company, J.R.. Why don't you start your own?" Swivelling her body around to face him straight-on, Sue Ellen couldn't help but smile at her husband's incredulous expression. "If your father can do it, then you certainly can!" Though her loyalty to him may have wavered, her faith in him never would and Sue Ellen knew that, with the kind of education J.R. had been fortunate enough to experience, he was more than capable of creating a company of his own. "Jock didn't even have a basic knowledge of business, let alone the oil business, and he built Ewing Oil. Think about the kind of empire you could build with all that you've learnt from him!" The brilliance of the idea started to pulsate through Sue Ellen as she vividly envisioned her husband accepting the pride of his father and coming into his own, in a way he never had before.

Not utterly convinced by it, J.R. brushed off her suggestion. "No, I can't." Going into competition with the company his father had built _for him_ just seemed absurd; while he appreciated Sue Ellen's effort, for which he softly patted her hand, J.R. continued to search for the answer to his problem. For the most part, Bobby had done nothing but increase the value of the company and regain the respect and the reputation his father had once given it; a reputation which J.R.'s nefarious antics had almost annihilated. "Daddy meant Ewing Oil to be mine and I'll be damned if Bobby takes it for himself."

Though Pam had experienced no trouble with conception, the carriage of the baby had been the proverbial stumbling block both times around but Sue Ellen didn't doubt it wouldn't be long before the couple overcame the barrier, much like she and J.R. had, and provided Jock and Miss Ellie with yet another grandchild, which meant John Ross would not only have to fight his brother or sister for his position in the company, but also any Ewing cousins. The contemplation such a potential family feud chilled Sue Ellen cold, as did the possibility of their children falling into the dark hole of concealing their vulnerabilities or weaknesses. "Well, I'm afraid you're in need of a new game-plan then, darlin', because Jock knew what game you were playing the day we left Southfork."

Sharp pain sliced through J.R.'s head in the threat of an oncoming migraine and he rolled his head back, before his eyes fell upon Sue Ellen. Her beauty, and beauty of the new form of life inside her ever-growing stomach, had been more than enough motivation to propel himself back into the oil business. "I don't want to talk about business anymore."

Lust, in its most unmistakable form, conveyed itself in his voice but Sue Ellen's eyes diverted to their son. "We should really get John Ross inside first. It's getting pretty cold." The sky had already began to delve into darkness, taking the warmth of the sun with it, though it hadn't been as formidable as the winter months when they were only permitted a few hours of light. Sue Ellen disclosed a faint moan at the strain of her son's weight when she lifted him into an embrace, her energy completely consumed by the pregnancy, and J.R. observantly followed her into the chalet, where she released John Ross into his playpen. "I ordered dinner in but it won't be delivered until after 6pm. I hope you don't mind; I'm just not sure I'd feel up to cooking tonight." Her brief explanation dispersed into thin air as the half-read book on the coffee table consumed his attention. Sue Ellen looked over her shoulder, "J.R., did you hear what I said?"

"I heard it." His Texan drawl retorted, his mind still pre-occupied by the book.

Once she determined what J.R. had discovered, Sue Ellen leapt from her position near John Ross and raced across the room to retrieve the book. "Do you mind? That's private!"

J.R. frowned, his suspicious manner intensified by her outrage at his intrusion. "Well, what the hell is it?" Before Sue Ellen could shelter the book behind her back, J.R. caught a glimpse of the word "sex" in the title and had already understood the general premise of the book to guide women in their pregnancy experience.

"Well, I don't know why you're so curious." In vain, Sue Ellen attempted to maintain her composure as she flicked her curls from her face in a dramatic fashion. "It's just a pregnancy book. One of the women at the pregnancy classes recommended it and offered me her copy on temporary loan. It's really nothing interesting, I only accepted it to be polite to her." An expert in the twisted truth, Sue Ellen could practically see J.R.'s nose twitch at the stench of deception, and she slowly backed further from her husband with every step he inched in her direction. "J.R.?"

Her voice wavered nervously, and J.R. locked down the emotional chains around his wife. Moving at a faster pace than Sue Ellen could muster without warning, J.R. snatched the book and pried it from her determined clutch. His suspicions were confirmed and he vaguely flipped through the illustrated pages. They hadn't engaged in another sexual encounter since their reconciliation, though Lord only knew the unreciprocated advances J.R. had made toward Sue Ellen. His initial assumption had been the raging hormones pregnancy had invoked from Sue Ellen, who had experienced more than her fair share of unprovoked dramatics, but it became clear the issue ran deeper. "Is this the reason you won't let me touch you anymore?" Possibilities scurried through his mind as to whether his strengthening need for her had caused discomfort, or perhaps she didn't hold a reflective desire for him in her condition. One line about the side-effect of severe pain during intercourse drew his eye in and Sue Ellen watched as J.R. read an entire page with an adorable expression of serene concentration. His palm closed the book and he pursed his lips. "Have I hurt you?"

Sue Ellen smiled sweetly, repossessing the book only to set it aside and place both hands on either cheek. "No, you haven't. If you must know, I've been a little curious about the effect a pregnancy can have and the lady who runs the pregnancy classes directed me to this book." While the other women noted infinite cravings for luxurious foods in the middle of the night, Sue Ellen's pregnancy craving had sought out only hunger for her husband. "I had assumed you would have noticed." She hinted, slightly insulted. Her sex-drive had reached heights Sue Ellen had never known before and her profound infatuation with J.R. had accentuated to what could only be described as an irrational state of mind, so much so that her need for him prevented her from following through on her instinct. "Does that satisfy your curiosity, my darlin'?"

A devilish grin spread across his lips and he pulled her close, "It certainly does." She moaned in ecstasy at the soft nibbles his lips trailed over her neck, pacified to be back in his arms again.


	10. Casablanca

**10. Casablanca**

J.R. furiously plucked another tissue from the nearest box and handed it to Sue Ellen. The tears continued to stream down her cheek, a sight J.R. had become accustomed to in her condition. Her nature had become irrational, unpredictable even, and J.R. had little power over her reaction to whatever blasé comment he should make. "I'm sorry, Sue Ellen."

She wiped away her tears and sniffled, "Don't dare say you didn't mean it, J.R.."

"Well, I didn't mean it like that." He protested, his voice strained in frustration. One look from Sue Ellen and J.R. reeled himself in. It had taken him a full half-hour to probe Sue Ellen from the locked bathroom, and J.R. didn't want to chase her back in. "All women are liable to put on a few pounds when they're in your condition." His compliment on her "fuller shape" had been received as no such compliment, the horror still frozen on Sue Ellen's features. As if she weren't sensitive enough before, the baby acted like a demon inside of her and Sue Ellen threatened to annihilate anyone who should mention her appearance, and J.R. just happened to be the only unlucky victim of her wrath. "It didn't seem to bother you so much with John Ross."

"How would you know?" Sue Ellen snarled, as she scrunched the tissue and tossed it aside. "You were never there. Too busy, with your whores." Her voice started to crack, as the reminder of their previous failures haunted her. She couldn't be sure what unnerved her most; her fears for the future, or her fears of history's ability to repeat itself. "I need it to be different this time around, J.R., I thought you understood how much I needed that."

"I did. I, I do." He corrected himself, with a scowl. "Have I not been here with you?" Every bout of sickness at dawn, J.R. had held her hair back, every doctor's appointment, J.R. had cleared his schedule to be present, and every tear she shed, J.R. had wiped away with a one-liner to replace her sadness with that infectious smile. "I've kept my promise, sweetheart."

A whimper suffocated her throat and Sue Ellen nodded her head, "I know you have. I'm just over-emotional." She couldn't remember the last rational conversation she and J.R. had shared, perhaps she had been accustomed to a hidden motive behind his every action, perhaps because she still felt like they were alone. "J.R., I miss Southfork." He rolled his eyes and spun on his heels, never in the mood to discuss his family back home in Dallas. "I miss them more than I considered possible. John Ross misses them." How many times she had discovered her son on his toy pay-phone to "Grandma" and his innate despair when her voice couldn't be heard from the machine. "I know we never really discussed the time-scale but I just assumed we would have returned home before now; we've been here since January, that's three months and in another six, we'll have another child. Do you know how much it would hurt your mother and father if they didn't hold your child on the day he or she is born? Don't you miss them at all?"

J.R. hardened his expression. "Of course, I miss them. But daddy made his loyalty to Bobby clear."

"So you've left Southfork, never to return." Sue Ellen raised her head, a defiant look in her eyes. "I didn't take you for a coward, the kind of man who runs, J.R.. Maybe your daddy wants you to fight for it."

"And I am." J.R. confirmed. "By the end of the week, Campbell Energies will be under my control. All assets will be under my name, and the new name of the company; Ewing Energies." Her eyes widened in total disbelief and J.R. inhaled, as he studied the look most would react with at the news of his decision to rival his own father's company. "My daddy started to teach me the oil business at the same age he started to teach Gary and Bobby how to walk and talk. All he knows, I know and now I'll prove it." Undoubtedly, his decision would unleash his father's wrath upon him, but J.R. deemed the attention worth it. After many years of his devotion, Jock had still yet to take him seriously but J.R. planned to ensure his father wouldn't continue to make that foolish mistake in the future.

"Where exactly do you intend to run this company from?" Sue Ellen asked, curious how J.R. hoped to out-manoeuvre his father in a business he had known for decades.

He smiled, "Here in Alaska. For a few months, at least. Some of their best profits are made here. And it'll give daddy the chance to sweat it out, concentrate on the company with my little brother. With Bobby at the helm, he has to know Ewing Oil won't succeed. To be in business, you need an iron fist. Bobby's never had that. He's too moral, always has been. They'll never fear him and, without fear, they'll never respect him." J.R. brushed away the damp mascara stain from underneath her eye with the pad of his thumb. His mouth salivated as he pictured his father metaphorically on his knees, hopeful for J.R.'s return.

It all sounded too much a perfect fit. Sue Ellen rested her hand on J.R.'s and squeezed it. "J.R., make me a promise." He lifted his head and pierced her with his eyes, which shone under the light like a beacon. "Can you promise me that we'll be home before this baby is born? Southfork is where your mother spent most of her childhood, it's the only home you've ever known and I want our children to be able to say the same. I don't want this ridiculous competition between you and Bobby to be the reason John Ross and this baby feel like outcasts at Southfork." She had witnessed first-hand how cruelly Jock had disregarded his second eldest son and, had it not been for Miss Ellie's heart, Lucy may have been forced down a completely different path.

J.R. smiled. "I promise, darlin'!"

"Thank you." Sue Ellen exhaled with relief. "Ewing Energies. It has quite a ring to it."

"Doesn't it?" J.R. chuckled, ecstatic by her approval. The future was unlimited for his company and J.R. highly anticipated the word Global to replace Energies, in a few years. No doubt, his father would be furious at the external betrayal but, inwardly, J.R. knew his father would secretly revel in pride. How ironic, it had taken his removal from Ewing Oil to finally prove his own potential. If he had known, J.R. may have made such a move many years beforehand and saved himself, and Sue Ellen, a world of pain. "So, what d'you say, why don't we celebrate?"

"What did you have in mind?" Sue Ellen checked, not fully prepared to reveal herself to the outside world with no make-up on, nor any appropriate clothes.

"Well, John Ross has been asleep for quite a few hours now so he won't disturb us and I just happened to find this at the video-store on my way home." J.R. revealed "Casablanca" from his briefcase and Sue Ellen powerlessly shone her eyes with that seductive smile of satisfaction. "I know it's your favourite and it's been _nine years_ since we sat down and watched it." If Sue Ellen needed physical proof that J.R. had made a conscious effort to be different, this was it. They positioned themselves on the sofa in front of the television and silently curled their bodies into one as they silently watched the movie. Almost an hour and a half had passed when J.R. could feel his arm had become numb under Sue Ellen's stomach. He softly shifted, which only provoked the torture of pins and needles and J.R. quietly winced. The soft snores indicated that Sue Ellen had long fallen unconscious and J.R. did all he could to escape unnoticed. The sharp tickles reached their climax and J.R. gritted his teeth until the torment faded. He accepted the lost battle and started to carefully prod Sue Ellen from her slumber in the hopes of a medicinal stretch. She shifted just an inch to the left and J.R. sighed in disappointment, as all his attempts to wake her became more and more futile. Another half-hour passed before the credits rolled and J.R. supported his head with his hands, his mood sullen with boredom. The only factor to dim his annoyance was Sue Ellen's beauty in her sleepy state of mind; unlike the disastrous first time around with John Ross, she possessed a radiance about her and looked barely a couple years older than the first day his eyes had discovered her. Since then, somehow, their lives had fallen from the grace of perfection and everyone knew about it. He could hardly deny the embarrassment his infidelity had forced upon her but Sue Ellen had worn the mark with her natural elegance, the first time and the second, and every other time after that until finally her exterior cracked and the internal damage became painfully obvious. If she had caused nearly half the humiliation he had, which John Ross' paternity almost did, J.R. wouldn't have shown nearly as much acceptance in return. It was exactly this that cemented his resolve to be different, and the soon-to-be arrival of their second child, which made them feel like even more a family than beforehand. What threatened to overthrow his decision was Sue Ellen's wavered faith in him, for J.R. found himself paranoid of just how much more Sue Ellen could stand, and what's worse was that he didn't even have that much faith in himself.


	11. Honey, We're Going Home

**11. Honey, We're Going Home**

In the winter months Sue Ellen had endured in Alaska, the pneumonia-inducing temperatures had nothing on the icy glare her father-in-law could deliver when unmistakably livid. She was still shaken, from his unexpected entrance. With Jock sat not four feet away from her, his mood only softened by the attention he lathered John Ross in, Sue Ellen anticipated her husband's return home, to discover his father's unscheduled arrival. No matter her resolve, her mind dwelled in panic on how J.R. may react to such an ambush.

As if to answer her question, J.R. burst in the front door with his usual elation, as President of Ewing Energies, his very own company he had created in recent weeks, but his devilish grin cracked at the seams when the snow-white of his father's hair commanded his attention. "Welcome home, J.R.. Look who flew in this afternoon."

The calm in Sue Ellen's voice, and the way her eyes pleaded with him not to create a scene, had little to no effect on J.R., who discarded his briefcase and shrugged off his jacket. "Dad," he called out, a small amount of abruption in his tone. "Kind of surprised to see you here, without a call first, at least." He approached his father and stretched out his arms to remove John Ross from his father's knees and return the bemused toddler to Sue Ellen. "Let us have a moment alone, won't you, honey?" He tenderly kissed her cheek, as they exchanged John Ross from his arms to hers, and Sue Ellen silently carried their son upstairs, out of earshot. The distance between father and son had been immense, but not quite as monumental as the tension in the atmosphere between them; Sue Ellen didn't particularly relish the idea of being present during such a confrontation, which had been a long time coming for both Jock and J.R..

"You're looking good, J.R.." Jock praised, his head bobbing in reluctant approval, as he rose to his feet. "So is Sue Ellen," he pointed out, a subtle request for information.

"Thank you, sir. She's coming on for six months now," J.R. replied. It pleased him to discover his father still possessed a certain aloofness where it concerned Sue Ellen, almost as if it added to the idea that they were untouchable since they had deserted their lives at Southfork. "We're both very excited." J.R. motioned for his father to make himself comfortable, as he sat opposite him. "How's mama?"

"Your mama's just fine, J.R., but she misses you. Though, I suspect, you already knew that." Jock narrowed his eyes, in a meek attempt to soften the disdain he had started to feel toward his eldest son, who had purposely and nonchalantly inflicted such pain on his mother by the sudden upheaval to Alaska. Once J.R.'s intentions for his stint in Alaska were revealed, Jock had little choice but to trek across the border and engage in confrontation. His cheeks almost reddened in embarrassment, as he recalled just how clueless he had been to his son's game plan, until Jordan Lee had faithfully reported back to the cartel. It had only been Jock's inability to suspend his disbelief, that fully convinced the cartel that they weren't further victims of the Ewing's merciless schemes to strive further ahead.

"Did she receive the letter Sue Ellen sent?" J.R. checked, "I believe she had an extra copy of the scan printed, so she could send one back home to you all."

Jock nodded his head, in confirmation to J.R.'s enquiry, and cleared his throat. An inevitable silence bombarded the conversation, before Jock raised his head and looked J.R. square in the eyes. "You know why I'm here, J.R.." He had little interest in skirting around the issue, not when his every bone had rattled with rage upon his discovery of J.R.'s betrayal. From his pocket, Jock plucked a business card Jordan had retrieved, and placed it on the coffee table which rested between their feet. The bold and black letters '**EE**' screamed out and J.R. forced his facial expression into one of self-condemnation, not entirely a true reflection of the glee his heart had burst with at the discontent clear to witness in his father's eyes, and he swiped the business card away from his father's reach. "I don't know what to be mad at you for most, the company or the fact that I had to hear it from the cartel, and not you. What's the matter, J.R.? Didn't you have the guts to tell me man to man?"

His father's blow beneath the belt did little to unnerve J.R., who shuffled forward and feigned a certain irritation, on his father's behalf. "Yes, sir. I had every intention to tell you myself but, well, word of the company spread like wildfire before I had any concrete plans myself. Good news travels fast, huh?" He taunted, a smirk fully spread across his lips.

Irritated by J.R.'s nonchalant mood, Jock barked, "Cut the crap, J.R.!"

"Sir?" J.R. frowned, not as confused as he appeared.

"What the hell do you mean by all this, J.R.?" His bad mood elevated from his position on the sofa and he paced quickly over to the window, his back to his son. "I created Ewing Oil as a family business, to be run by my sons, and their sons after them." He had reluctantly accepted Gary's blatant disregard for the oil business but J.R. had developed an unnaturally obsessive thirst to prove himself competent and, in turn, Bobby had followed his brothers footsteps. However, even Jock had to admit, Bobby didn't have the resilience J.R. possessed. In the few months Bobby had run the company, he had shown initiative but many decisions had knocked Jock from his confident balance, and left him longing for J.R.'s return. "Is this company a cry for my attention?"

"I don't know what you mean, daddy." J.R. frowned, with a shake of his head. If he didn't know any better, he may have pinpointed a certain desperation in his father's voice as he tried to predict the true motivation behind the origins of Ewing Energies, and perhaps for his eldest son to return to the nest.

"You've made your point, J.R.," he turned on his heels, and faced his son with eyes pleading for a resolution. "Your mama sent me here because she wants you back home on Southfork. It's your family home, J.R., and it's where you, Sue Ellen and my grandson belong, especially now with this baby due so soon. Sue Ellen will need help, even your mama did when Gary was born, and who better to help than family?" Jock questioned, his hands stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans. "Why don't you lose this idea of a company? Come back home. You, Bobby and I can work out any differences."

Rather experienced in his father's previous attempts at compromise, J.R. knew better than to trust in such loose promises. One foot out of line and his father would shove him out of the company, in favour of Bobby once more. "Daddy, Bobby has made his refusal to relinquish power of the company crystal clear to anyone who dared to ask. Besides, I wouldn't want to cause any tension in the family. I'm sure he's done you proud in my absence; it wouldn't fair to him if I returned, only to push him out." His eyes soured somewhat, as he recalled the very way his father had allowed Bobby to make sure his temporary absence from the throne had been much more permanent. If his father really believed he would return with his tail between his legs, after the public humiliation of being outcast from the family company that was rightfully his, then he had many surprises in store; J.R. would not fall in line with the same ease as he had done before.

"Don't you worry about your brother, I've already spoken to Bobby about it." He lied, as always, but he was Jock Ewing and he had mastered the art of sweet-talk.

"I'm sorry, daddy. I'm too far in to turn back now," J.R. maintained his refusal, a weary shake of his head. "I understand your hesitation but don't think of this company as competition for Ewing Oil, think of it as another business venture to add to the family name. We'll all profit from it."

Uncertainty flashed across Jock's face; he could do little more to convince J.R. than the promises he had already offered. "So that's it, huh? You won't come home?"

J.R.'s eyes brightened with a mischievous glint. "I didn't say that. My plans for Alaska were always on a temporary basis and I've already put the wheels in motion to have the headquarters for Ewing Energies relocated to Dallas." His family had foolishly underestimated his smarts, and just how well he could predict how they would react to each predicament. After several failed pleas from his mother to return home to Southfork, the next logical step would be an ambush by his father like this and J.R. had been well prepared for such. "By my estimation, we'll be home well before the baby's born."

Relief washed over Jock, as both father and son rose to their feet. He may not have resolved the contempt between brothers over the family company but, at least, his family would be back underneath one roof, which would undoubtedly settle Miss Ellie's mind. "Well, that's just about the best news I've had all week!" Jock exclaimed, as he patted J.R.'s back.

Her ears strained, Sue Ellen could hear the voices of her husband and father-in-law raise to a pleasant tone and snatched the opportunity to re-enter the room. With a sleepy John Ross in her arms, his head rested lazily on her chest, she smiled. "Someone's just about ready for his nap, I think." She looked toward J.R. for reassurance that a resolution, temporary or permanent, had been reached to both their satisfaction. "Is everything okay?"

"Just fine, darlin', just fine." J.R. confirmed.

"Well, I think I'll call home and let everyone know the good news." Jock paced over to the phone, to dial home to Southfork.

"Good news?" Sue Ellen repeated, her forehead lined with confusion.

As his wife reached for John Ross' pacifier to comfort the moody toddler, J.R. stood tall and widened his shoulders with an enigmatic grin. "Honey, we're going home."


	12. Home Sweet Home

**12. Home Sweet Home**

Her eyes filled with adoration, Miss Ellie graced her husband with the widest of smile of happiness and approval. He had effortlessly granted her one request; just one week after Jock's visit to Alaska, J.R. and Sue Ellen were back on Southfork. Naturally, and as expected, their initial moment of return had acquired a certain uncomfortable intensity fuelled by male hormones but the family ranch had come alive once more, the way it always did when all inhabitants were present, and Miss Ellie's heart felt at ease once more.

"Would you look at how much he's grown, honey?" Bobby noted, as he playfully splashed John Ross, who meekly allowed his toes to dip into the water, as he watched his uncle from the side of the pool. The entire family had suspended a day of work, in celebration of J.R. and Sue Ellen's return, and all hostility had momentarily subsided. In fact, the only member of the family who didn't appear to fully embrace the elevated mood had been Pam. While physically present, she appeared mentally absent, as she curled her body into itself on a deckchair, distanced from the non-stop conversation divided between Jock, Miss Ellie, J.R. and Sue Ellen, where they overlooked Bobby and John Ross in the pool. "Honey?" She forced a small smile for appearances sakes – a small Sue Ellen knew far too well – and retreated to stare off into the distance of the ranch.

"What a welcome home, eh?" J.R. sarcastically remarked, as he flicked through the Dallas Press to reacquaint himself with recent events. His eyes playfully danced between his parents and Sue Ellen, who simply rolled her eyes in mild contempt for his attitude, as she sipped thoughtfully on her cup of tea.

"Knock it off, J.R.." His father warned, kicked into action by a look of desperation for peace from Miss Ellie.

Her voice lowered, careful not for Bobby or Pam to overhear such a conversation, Miss Ellie frowned with a soulful, concerned expression. "Bobby and Pam haven't had it easy since you've been away, J.R., and I don't think any unkind remarks would help matters." In fact, plenty of transformations had occurred in J.R. and Sue Ellen's absence. Most notably, Lucy had married Mitch Cooper and purchased an apartment in Dallas with her husband, and while J.R. had never quite relished her presence, even he found her leave rather difficult to reconcile.

Consumed with empathy for her sister-in-law, whose troubles Miss Ellie had briefly confided, Sue Ellen excused herself as the conversation shifted to a less troublesome topic. "Pamela?" She perched on the deck chair beside the auburn-haired woman, her worry clearly portrayed. "Are you okay? You don't seem quite yourself."

"I'm sorry, I've had so much on my mind." Her mother, Rebecca, had re-entered her life and requested to resume the role of mother to Pam, despite her previous refusal to have any involvement, and Pam continued to seek a solution to her inability to conceive and carry a child of her own. Except, little did anyone in the family know, there had been a further complication. A complication Pam could either seek solace to Bobby in, or confront J.R. and Sue Ellen with; neither option looked attractive. With Bobby almost married to his work, their ability to communicate had faltered, and her relationship with J.R. left plenty to be desired, but Pam didn't know if she had the heart to burden Sue Ellen with the information she had withheld.

"Well, Miss Ellie has filled me in on what's happened. Not in too much detail," Sue Ellen quickly added, when a flash of panic and humiliation spread across Pam's features. "But she has expressed some concern for you and, well… I know you and I haven't always been particularly close but I hope you know you can always confide in me." Sue Ellen kindly offered, a smile extended. "A problem shared can be a problem halved, as Dr Elby often likes to remind me in our sessions." She added, with a mild sense of humour behind her remark. "And, with Dr Elby in mind, should you ever feel like you need to speak to a third party, if only for a fresh perspective, I'm more than happy to make an appointment for you." The directness Sue Ellen spoke so confidently with startled Pam somewhat, who had become accustomed to a withdrawn and resentful character from her sister-in-law, rather than someone so composed and revolutionised. "It's your decision."

Before Pam could promptly and politely refuse Sue Ellen's offer, Theresa approached with a serene expression. "There's a phone call for you, Mrs Ewing, from The Fairview Hotel."

Sue Ellen made her peaked interest blatant, and Pam replaced her alarmed expression with one of calm. "It's probably my mother," she waved her hand, as if to answer Sue Ellen's unspoken question. "Excuse me?" She quickly strode away from Sue Ellen, who watched in suspicion, until her sons unmistakable screams of euphoria broke her concentration, as Bobby splashed water in his direction.

Not fully convinced of truth, Sue Ellen followed her intuition and returned to her seat beside her mother-in-law. "Miss Ellie, did you say Rebecca had already moved to Dallas?"

J.R.'s ears pricked, drawn in by new information, "Oh?"

"Yes, after Herbert Wentworth died, she made contact with Pam and decided to move to Dallas on a permanent basis." Miss Ellie confirmed, not entirely engaged in the conversation, further distracted by John Ross' childish excitement. "Pam helped her move in. She invited Jock and I for dinner sometime next week, and Bobby and Pam, of course. We hadn't planned to attend, but I suspect you and J.R. would appreciate the chance to have the house to yourselves. It'll be some time before you fully readjust to a full house again."

"I suppose, she'll have relocated her company to Dallas too?" J.R. pried for further details.

"What's the matter, J.R.? Not afraid of a little competition, are you?" Bobby climbed out from the pool, his competitive streak in full force as he locked eyes with J.R..

The brothers started to bicker back and forth, but Sue Ellen's mind had already zoned out from the conversation. She found herself heckled, as she attempted to reason why Pam would make such effort to deceive her over a mere phone call. As Bobby passed John Ross into her arms, Sue Ellen dried any dampness from his baby-soft skin and started inside. "He looks like he needs some shade," she muttered, yet nobody except Miss Ellie had noticed her decision to leave the table, as Jock did his best to referee the immature squabble that had broken out between the brothers. Once inside, Sue Ellen followed Pam's muffled voice to the home office and leaned her head into the door in an attempt to listen in.

"… They came home yesterday afternoon. Yes, J.R., Sue Ellen and John Ross are back." A momentary pause came before Pam further clarified the situation at Southfork, "As far as I know, they're back on Southfork permanently, yes." Another ten-second pause stretched before Pam started to uncharacteristically lose her temper, "Well, you know, J.R. doesn't always inform me of his plans; I'm hardly his closest confidant." She loudly exhaled, and Sue Ellen could see her shake her head in her hands, in the crack of doors. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose my temper but surely you can appreciate the position I'm in?" After a moments contemplation, Pam brushed her hand over her curls and nodded her head, "Yes, I will. I promise, I will speak to Sue Ellen, as soon as I have an opportune moment. Okay?" The phone call started to draw a natural conclusion when a small cry of boredom plucked from John Ross' lips and Sue Ellen squeezed her eyes shut, horrified by her sudden exposure. The cry and subsequent click of heels, which darted upstairs, drew Pamela's attention and she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Just try to stay calm, I'll call you soon." She replaced the phone and smoothed out the few creases in her skirt, before she sauntered upstairs to the nursery where Sue Ellen had started to settle John Ross. "Bobby didn't tire him out already, did he?"

"He's still exhausted, the journey home yesterday must have worn him out." Sue Ellen reasoned, as she slipped the toddler into his sleep-suit. "How's your mother?"

"My mother?" Pam asked, in blatant confusion.

"It was your mother who called, wasn't it?" Sue Ellen reminded, her suspicion now without question.

"Oh, she's fine. She's a little worried," Pamela completed her deception. "She couldn't reach Cliff. He hasn't dealt with her well, at all. I don't know if he ever will, he's always been so devoted to Digger and he's always considered Aunt Maggie as his mother in that sense because she's the one who raised him –"

"Cut the crap, Pam." Her ability to tolerate such obvious deceit had withered; she wouldn't accept it from her husband, nor would she accept it from someone she considered a friend. "I find it hard to believe your mother would have such a peaked interest in whether J.R. and I have permanent plans to stay in Dallas. So, who were you on the phone with?" She passed John Ross his favourite rattle toy and directed Pam away from the nursery, in favour of privacy, into her and J.R.'s bedroom. "Well, who were you on the phone to, Pamela?"

Like a mother who scolded her child, Sue Ellen always appeared to use Pam's full name if her temper rose and Pam found she would stand to full attention. "Sue Ellen…"

Irritated by the unknown, Sue Ellen scowled, "Just tell me, Pam. Was it Cliff?" She asked, "He never seems content unless he's hot on J.R.'s heels. Let me guess, he's worried about J.R.'s new company? He has plans to shut it down, boycott it, so he's pressured you to scrape any information you can. He's obviously not stupid enough to believe I'll spill the beans to him about it, but he's asked you to press all the right buttons so I'll tell you what I know. Well, Pamela, more fool him… and you, if you're happy to let him exploit you like that." Sue Ellen shook her head, in disbelief. "Pamela, I know Cliff's your brother and you love him, but why can't you see how much of this Barnes-Ewing feud he brings on himself?"

"Sue Ellen, stop it." Pam protested, "Okay, I admit it. I lied to you, my mother wasn't the one who called, but it wasn't Cliff. She paused, her heart frantic yet externally, she remained calm. "It was Kristin. She's here in Dallas, she has been for a few weeks now. I've been meaning to tell you, I just haven't found the right moment."

"Here... in Dallas?" She stammered, in disbelief.

So many unanswered questions were left in the back of Sue Ellen's throat as J.R. and Bobby stormed in. "I don't know what you're planning to achieve, J.R., but you had just better watch your back because I'll beat you at your own game!" The youngest Ewing brother snarled, his towel slung over his shoulder as he skunked upstairs to his bedroom, too full of disdain to even breathe the same air as his brother.

"Home sweet home, huh, sugar?" J.R. chuckled, an expression of amusement across his face as he followed his brother upstairs.

Her heart not in the statement, Sue Ellen gently nodded her head, "Home sweet home."


End file.
